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  1. so ready to live

    Anyone have well water and private septic?

    We've always lived out-with well and septic. No troubles, you might have them inspected as part of your home inspection or separately prior to purchase if you're concerned. I like the independence of not "being hooked up" !
  2. so ready to live

    There is no Dick Clark but the final count down is on.

    LBL- my eyes are stinging with tears as I read so many renditions of this pain. We, upon asking our son to leave, similar to COPA, heard " I don't know why you ever adopted me, I'm such a disappointment, but what am I supposed to do, you're the only family I've got". I still two years later...
  3. so ready to live

    There is no Dick Clark but the final count down is on.

    Oh LBL. No additional advice from here but please know you will survive as we did. It hurts so darn much, I realized that "breaking heart" actually physically hurt...who knew? I send you a huge hug from Indiana, you are strong, you have done all you can. Let it play out as it must, it's his...
  4. so ready to live

    An unhappy afternoon

    Dear Guidance. A good nights sleep does help, doesn't it? Be ever so kind to yourself, this is a safe place. I know I also could not have seen my battered son and not responded. That being said, we have hidden in our own house at times in order not to answer the door, not to see his...
  5. so ready to live

    Still Struggling with Detachment

    Dear MUM. My heart goes out to you. So many of our stories sound the same. Your son knows you love him. Repeat---your son knows you love him, he does. It gets so muddy in our worlds, doesn't it? Do protect yourself, I think for me that was the hardest concept to learn-that I mattered above...
  6. so ready to live

    A Visitor Came a knocking “

    LBL there is no denying that this is just so hard. My go to thought is worry. As i have over the years assessed what I really feel- it is simply profound sadness over his wasted life. When I sense this, I remember the profound sadness I should have over my wasted time trying to fix or simply...
  7. so ready to live

    the ball is in his court??

    Copa. So good to hear from you again. This still sounds like progress for both of you and thank you for sharing, I really needed to hear this today. I so need to remember that sad, lonely, haggard also can be formative to live through...
  8. so ready to live

    Don’t know what to do.

    prayers for all of our addicted loved ones, may this be your brothers rock bottom. Still so hard for you and your mom to see, be kind to yourselves today. There is always hope.
  9. so ready to live

    Reminder/Refresher about guidelines for PE forum.

    RN- very perceptive. Maybe sometimes we need to wait in our response while checking our own mood.. I know at times it simply hits too close to home and my "stand by another mother" gene kicks in in support. That is good but can also be bad here if it comes across as "do this". It's a long...
  10. so ready to live

    For your information my son is NOT OK

    LBL-great job with restraint. I could feel the steam coming off your post. Just as we can't control our kids so we also have none over others..cop mom "gonna do what she do" right? So glad you didn't offer to be get off to school assistance, I do think you could consider only talking to your...
  11. so ready to live

    Most difficult years of my life

    Guidance. To learn the concept of No was extremely difficult for me. There is a story from one of the boundaries type books of an older couple whose drug addled son begged for $ once again for "housing". In haste they said yes and upon getting off phone had regrets. When within a day they...
  12. so ready to live

    Most difficult years of my life

    Guidance. Your thinking so reminds me of mine. The anxiety of owning his problems. I have a blank piece of paper with a thick black line right down the middle, no words. When my thoughts go wild..I remember the left side is mine, the right his. I think of how full my side is-in your case...
  13. so ready to live

    the ball is in his court??

    Oh Copa. When I read the first half of your post I was preparing for the worst-That's me preparing for worst with even YOUR son :frown:....and then good things. You stayed calm and held your ground. He's out of your space, vision and as usual your control. Win-win. Hold tight, enjoy this...
  14. so ready to live

    Feeling guilty for sons continued behavior

    Hi Tammy. As a mean mom who left her son in jail over holidays for a month...I feel your pain. Not your fault though, was it? Albie's text idea is great. Our son called my husbands work from jail, secretary and others took the calls, we had a lot to pay back before telling everyone that...
  15. so ready to live

    Weather check Midwest, North, Northeast

    In Indiana 7 below here this am with one foot of snow and snowing now....it is beautiful from the inside with a steaming cup of tea...
  16. so ready to live

    Most difficult years of my life

    Hi Guidance. I see progress in your realizing you were living in madness. For so many years we were so thick in it we couldn't see...anything. If you need reason to climb out of the FOG, fear, obligation, guilt, look at your daughter. If it's hard to stand firm for yourself or husband, do it...
  17. so ready to live

    Police for Christmas

    Hi LeaMac. You've gone over and above to try to assist an "adult". It obviously didn't work. Many of us have thought "maybe this time"...only to be drug down again. Try something new, it doesn't mean you won't worry but don't you still worry while helping her? There is never enough in...
  18. so ready to live

    Merry Christmas

    Merry Christmas all from Indiana.
  19. so ready to live

    Circle of Support for Hound Dog

    Prayers from Indiana for peace and healing for your family.
  20. so ready to live

    Dreading Christmas

    Hello Mum. So hard during the holidays isn't it? Sadly, so hard every day too. This is much like our son-we've said "you can't be nice to him or he starts in". So his calls/texts are blocked. We simply can't take his drama anymore. You made a generous offer to help with phone bill-that's...
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