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hi at wits end, sorry u had to find us..but so glad u did.! there will be others along who will post and give you ideas. I have to say you sound like you have a pretty good handle so far. I ,like piecesMom also worry about sending him to grandmother. I worry because the drug test showed more...

yes, getting them to do anything they don't want to do is impossible.,furthermore if they just do it to get you off their back that doesn't help either. because they backslide the minute you let up...been there, done that, own the book! (LOL) sorry i use levity as anti stress (works for me.. if...

when I woke with the mentally handicapped we would take our patients shopping for Items for christmas dinner. With donations from other employees we would make baskets and deliver the baskets the week before christmas to mothers of children in need (always including gifts for the kids) Our...

Im sorry you are going through this. I understand your pain. My son has many similar issues to yours. we keep "helping" because we feel guilt, or love, or whatever label we use...its all enabling. my son is older now (30) and our continuing to be there has done nothing good for him. Until he is...

the effects of pot are so different for everyone that I feel that it is totally related to the individual . also i believe any mental illnesses play a part in how those individuals react to it. there is no one answer. I was a teen in the 70's. the use of pot was huge in my circles. Most of my...

you are so right swot, I do realize this and i pray we stay strong! My husband is the one who seems to have a harder time than me, but i think he is finally there now. I have been the one who seems to be the focus of my sons anger more than my husband and I'm tired. just plain old tired. I am...

copa as i read what you write i could be speaking of my own son... what a shame, a waste really for they don't realize that they are merely existing , not truly living. we can only watch ,sigh and shake our heads. Our son still lives at home. we are waiting till june (our lease is up then) and...

not true! i suffer from sciatica and although it is usually on one side sometimes it can be both. also, check with your dr for herniated disc i had 2 discs removed (due to a car accident) and had pain down both sides of legs. it all depends on the inflammation and which nerves are being...

I have stopped trying to discuss things with my son. He cuts me off, stomps off like a child or is rude and disrespectful. so I resort to texts often. I can say my piece, without fear of being interrupted (or losing my train of thought I'm getting older lol that happens more frequently.) He can...

RN, sounds like exactly something my son would say! lol. I laugh, because if i didn't ,the pain of what they do would make me cry. we can laugh or cry...I choose to laugh for I have already cried WAY to much. HUGS

yes, the bridges they burn...If the day ever comes when they want to rebuild, I hope not to much water has passed under that bridge.

jodi, recovering is right. I have on several occasions after that initial letter to my son to write other letters to him...i just never gave them to him because i didn't see where it would do anything good, It did however make me feel much better at the time. Yes, cathartic is a great way to...

recovering, I am so happy for you! I hope one day that a light bulb will go on for my son as it did for your daughter. I know its on me to change so that maybe one day he will. It is so hard to cut the ties that bind. I am making baby steps.. god this agonizing journey, lol , But i will...

Wow,, I agree with all these posts! its mental illness of some kind, or brain wiring, narcissism, whatever label you want to put on it. I will also throw in that if there is drug abuse that their brains stopped maturing when they started using drugs. In my sons case he started smoking pot at...

have tried that one myself. Sorry to say it didn't seem to do anything but get him angry to where he said that i was just making him feel worse and didn't i think he knew all that etc, etc. and i can't let things go blah blah... yup turned it back on me. Im sorry but i feel that if they truly...

I am so sorry for your loss! I know it is so hard to lose someone who means so much to you! Just remember he will always be there , kept alive in your heart and in your memories! he is never far away.

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so sorry for all your stress! I can see why you wouldn't want contact.. just to keep your sanity! Yes, grief in waves. I get that but that gets better. My mother died when i was pretty young (23) and the grief was in waves and it wasn't over quickly, but grief ,for any reason, comes like that...

hi black gnat, I hear you and I feel you! Been where you are so many times. Verbal abuse, emotional abuse, thankfully no physical abuse (up till now anyway) broken doors, holes punched in walls etc etc.. the list goes on as we well know. I too do the cha cha.. you know ,that dance we do with...

yes, sounds like where my son is heading down the same path. ugh