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I agree with Ktmom, fairy dust and laugh. As you have described it, this situation has red flags all over it. It’s totally reasonable to say “full stop” now, before you get any further into this, and make a full assessment of the reality you would be getting into. It seems to me you already have...

So Very Drained, your son is a man, and not a child. You have done so much already, and in my opinion you aren’t obligated to do anything more financially. If you do, it will only enable him even more. These are terrible situations we are faced with that no parent should have to face. My...

There is so much said here that I relate to, and if you don't mind a dad crashing in... Nandina, when I read your concern about wondering "if people here really want to hear from someone who has lost the battle, so to speak", my response was immediately YES, please do continue sharing your...

My daughter is back in jail after missing her August court date for DUI. She was in jail in July and she blew up my phone then after not contacting me for many months; I assumed she wanted money for bond, but who knows. I just wasn’t ready to be verbally assaulted or accused. Out of self...

I am also sorry for your loss, Be@peace. In a very real sense, we lose our children when they succumb to addiction, but it must be very painful when they die from it. 😢 Your description of the problem that so many of us with addicted children face was well stated. May God help us find peace as...

Hi All, I’ve missed everyone here too, and was wondering what happened to the website, whether there was a problem with the server or it was hacked? I hope this isn’t goodbye because even though I only found this website a few months ago, I came to treasure it. It’s a place to share our...

Hi LMS, Copa, and Nomad, Thank you for being voices of reason. The thought did occur to me it could be divine intervention because the timing of when she stopped calling seemed more than coincidental. And in honesty, it was more peaceful than finding myself in another likely firestorm if she had...

Thank you for all of your kind, compassionate responses. I value all of you, and your thoughts, so much. And it's helpful to know I'm not alone in this. Copa, you are not badgering me at all. I appreciate your concern. I have been keeping very busy lately, which is good on the one hand because...

God didn’t make a mistake when he gave you your daughter. And you still have time to be more active in her life! That’s a comforting thought.

LMS, thank you for your prayers and kind words. I like the analogy of this being only half time, so don’t give up. It’s so easy to jump ahead and assume the worst WILL happen, but we don’t know that. I think you were right to try to tell Josh about your very legitimate concerns, but he made it...

LMS, I agree with the counsel given by others in this thread. I can’t help but believe that Josh will someday come to regret his treatment of you, though it could be a long while. In the meantime, take care of and nurture your own heart, life, and faith. I believe you are known deeply, and you...

Hi Copa, Nomad, and Beta. Thank you so much for your kind responses, wise insights, and prayers for peace and comfort. As strange as it may seem, I hadn't considered that I was self-flagellating or doing penance, which I don't believe is productive in this instance (if ever). Rather, I need to...

Hi Copa, yes I’m still here most every day. I’m okay, but have been struggling with being estranged from my daughter. It’s easy to dwell on my mistakes in the past as I try to guess exactly why she won’t respond to my occasional Facebook messages to her (the only way I know how to reach her). Is...

I agree, let’s pray. I haven’t heard from my 34 yo daughter for 6 months, which was on FB messenger on my birthday, but heard nothing from her today on Father’s Day. I wasn’t expecting it but it still hurts. Thanks for sharing your stories. I’m sorry you all are going through this but it’s...

You may have seen it already but on this CD website there’s a very helpful article on detachment: Article on Detachment Detaching from our addicted adult children is difficult but absolutely necessary for our own sanity. Many parents on this website have struggled with similar feelings of...

I agree that doing something physical is very important. I exercise most days and it is good for the body, soul, and mind!

Beta, In my case it has been more than a year since I've seen my daughter (also 34 yo), and the last I heard from her on the phone was last summer (when she was in another crisis, unfortunately). She did message me through facebook in December but she no longer responds there either. I miss her...

Beta, Feel free to "vent" any time you like. I haven't heard from my daughter since last summer. The grief is sometimes almost overwhelming. I assume if something really bad happens to her, that her mother would contact me - IF she is in contact with her, which I'm not certain of, since she...

lovemysons, I don't know what has caused her to hate herself. Al Anon literature states that often the addict knows they are hurting their family through their addiction, and that that can cause them to continue to drink/use drugs to dull the pain/guilt, especially if we family members criticize...