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12 Year old Step Daughter with ODD & Histrionic PD we're begging for help!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 722863" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>So what if the other parents don't like how strict you are? Let them talk. They are idiots. I would like to see them handle this half as well as you are doing!!!! I know we were the talk of the town when Wiz had his problems, especially because our daughter was usually the target of his rage. The funny thing was that I had a LOT of parents come to me to ask how to handle problems with their own kids because I refused to hide the problems we were having. If my kid was stupid enough to act out in front of the whole school, he could deal with the whole school knowing that he had a problem. Parents talked behind their hands about how awful I was for not hiding that stuff but every time they had a problem it was my phone they were calling. </p><p></p><p>Don't let the other parents being stupid cause problems for you. Know that they are still trapped in junior high and you had the good sense to grow up and become an adult. Even then, I know it is not easy to ignore them. Still, do what you must for your daughter. Come here to vent. Know that we understand because we have been there.</p><p></p><p>It is great that she is on the honor roll!! The school should still make whatever accommodations that she needs. If the doctor says she needs this or that because she has problems, the school should be able to make them. If they say no because she is on the honor roll, that is a type of discrimination, I am sure. Just because she is getting good grades does not mean she doesn't need help to stay there. If her grades slip even a little, or she contacts strange men from the school computers, make sure the school knows. </p><p></p><p>Make sure the school monitors her closely. Chances are their idea of monitoring her is to be in the same room and have 30+ other students in the room all online. That didn't ever fit my idea of close monitoring. My son was able to get into hacking forums and porn in those situations. Make friends with the school tech guy(s) if you can. I was able to do this. I took cookies to them at times. They let me know that my son was getting into all sorts of things that no kid should be getting into, especially at school. I was able to ask his teachers where they were when this was happening. They were supposed to be watching him closely when he was on the computer so this would not happen. I did not want him on a computer at all at any time. The teachers told me that it would be impossible for teachers to teach him without him having access to the internet. </p><p></p><p>Bunch of bovine excrement if you ask me! I had to get the school superintendent involved at this point. He couldn't figure out why his teachers would be unable to teach things like math and English without the internet. He wondered if he needed to turn the internet off to the entire school if they were so dependent on it. They had these things called books that you opened and they had these things with writing on them that you could turn. This writing meant something, it actually was information that you could teach from! I about fell out of my chair as the superintendent went through explaining this to my son's teachers (with a book to illustrate for them in case they didn't know, poor things might not have seen one as they were so dependent on the internet!). It was so funny to me. It was incredibly embarrassing for them and for the principal who also had to sit through this meeting. Needless to say, my son was off the computer at school for a while. </p><p></p><p>If the internet is the problem it seems to be, you absolutely can use the info from her doctors (get them to give you information saying she should not be allowed online at any time and that it is a real safety risk as she contacts men for sex any time she is online) to get at least a 504 if not an IEP. The fact that she has good grades is wonderful, but she also needs the support of the 504/IEP. She should qualify under Other Health Impaired. I think that is the box that would be checked. Don't let them fob you off saying she doesn't need it because her grades are fine. Grades are not the only thing going on in her life, or even her life at school. It only takes her a minute or so to post an ad on Craigslist for sex, or less to check an ad she has already posted. I know you do NOT want to deal with that!</p><p></p><p>I know it seems like more than you ever wanted to cope with! No one ever wanted to do all of this!! Keeping your daughter safe from meetings with nasty older men is worth it though. She may not realize the danger she puts herself in, but you do. Until she can care for herself, It is up to you to do it for her, even when it is unpleasant.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 722863, member: 1233"] So what if the other parents don't like how strict you are? Let them talk. They are idiots. I would like to see them handle this half as well as you are doing!!!! I know we were the talk of the town when Wiz had his problems, especially because our daughter was usually the target of his rage. The funny thing was that I had a LOT of parents come to me to ask how to handle problems with their own kids because I refused to hide the problems we were having. If my kid was stupid enough to act out in front of the whole school, he could deal with the whole school knowing that he had a problem. Parents talked behind their hands about how awful I was for not hiding that stuff but every time they had a problem it was my phone they were calling. Don't let the other parents being stupid cause problems for you. Know that they are still trapped in junior high and you had the good sense to grow up and become an adult. Even then, I know it is not easy to ignore them. Still, do what you must for your daughter. Come here to vent. Know that we understand because we have been there. It is great that she is on the honor roll!! The school should still make whatever accommodations that she needs. If the doctor says she needs this or that because she has problems, the school should be able to make them. If they say no because she is on the honor roll, that is a type of discrimination, I am sure. Just because she is getting good grades does not mean she doesn't need help to stay there. If her grades slip even a little, or she contacts strange men from the school computers, make sure the school knows. Make sure the school monitors her closely. Chances are their idea of monitoring her is to be in the same room and have 30+ other students in the room all online. That didn't ever fit my idea of close monitoring. My son was able to get into hacking forums and porn in those situations. Make friends with the school tech guy(s) if you can. I was able to do this. I took cookies to them at times. They let me know that my son was getting into all sorts of things that no kid should be getting into, especially at school. I was able to ask his teachers where they were when this was happening. They were supposed to be watching him closely when he was on the computer so this would not happen. I did not want him on a computer at all at any time. The teachers told me that it would be impossible for teachers to teach him without him having access to the internet. Bunch of bovine excrement if you ask me! I had to get the school superintendent involved at this point. He couldn't figure out why his teachers would be unable to teach things like math and English without the internet. He wondered if he needed to turn the internet off to the entire school if they were so dependent on it. They had these things called books that you opened and they had these things with writing on them that you could turn. This writing meant something, it actually was information that you could teach from! I about fell out of my chair as the superintendent went through explaining this to my son's teachers (with a book to illustrate for them in case they didn't know, poor things might not have seen one as they were so dependent on the internet!). It was so funny to me. It was incredibly embarrassing for them and for the principal who also had to sit through this meeting. Needless to say, my son was off the computer at school for a while. If the internet is the problem it seems to be, you absolutely can use the info from her doctors (get them to give you information saying she should not be allowed online at any time and that it is a real safety risk as she contacts men for sex any time she is online) to get at least a 504 if not an IEP. The fact that she has good grades is wonderful, but she also needs the support of the 504/IEP. She should qualify under Other Health Impaired. I think that is the box that would be checked. Don't let them fob you off saying she doesn't need it because her grades are fine. Grades are not the only thing going on in her life, or even her life at school. It only takes her a minute or so to post an ad on Craigslist for sex, or less to check an ad she has already posted. I know you do NOT want to deal with that! I know it seems like more than you ever wanted to cope with! No one ever wanted to do all of this!! Keeping your daughter safe from meetings with nasty older men is worth it though. She may not realize the danger she puts herself in, but you do. Until she can care for herself, It is up to you to do it for her, even when it is unpleasant. [/QUOTE]
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12 Year old Step Daughter with ODD & Histrionic PD we're begging for help!
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