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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 434656"><p>Your son is an adult now and his kids are his responsibility, not yours. Your first and foremost responsibility is to your younger children. It also sounds like you have faith that the other grandmother will do right by those kids, and you don't really know how things are with the mom etc... but you do know your son and he does not sound responsible himself so would he be the best parent to care for those kids? i don't think you really know the answer to that and certainly all the bystanders don't know that.</p><p></p><p>I think it is really hard when our adult children, who do not act like adults, are hurting and need us. We want to step in and take care of them because no matter how old they are we are still their mothers. However just like with a young child you sometimes have to encourage them to be more independent, the same is true with an adult child. It does not do them any good to come home and be dependent on mom, it really doesn't.</p><p></p><p>You are so clear in your posts that you know the right thing is not to let him come home.... that it is better for you and better for your other children for him not to come home. It may be harder to see that it is probably not right for him either. And all those people who havent been there, phooey on them... they just don't know. I think people who have not been through this really can't imagine what it is like.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 434656"] Your son is an adult now and his kids are his responsibility, not yours. Your first and foremost responsibility is to your younger children. It also sounds like you have faith that the other grandmother will do right by those kids, and you don't really know how things are with the mom etc... but you do know your son and he does not sound responsible himself so would he be the best parent to care for those kids? i don't think you really know the answer to that and certainly all the bystanders don't know that. I think it is really hard when our adult children, who do not act like adults, are hurting and need us. We want to step in and take care of them because no matter how old they are we are still their mothers. However just like with a young child you sometimes have to encourage them to be more independent, the same is true with an adult child. It does not do them any good to come home and be dependent on mom, it really doesn't. You are so clear in your posts that you know the right thing is not to let him come home.... that it is better for you and better for your other children for him not to come home. It may be harder to see that it is probably not right for him either. And all those people who havent been there, phooey on them... they just don't know. I think people who have not been through this really can't imagine what it is like. [/QUOTE]
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