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13 year old son STILL wears diapers - need help
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<blockquote data-quote="single_dad" data-source="post: 526771" data-attributes="member: 14487"><p>Yes, I guess I understated 'manic episodes' as he does take Risperdal for mood stabilization, essentially bipolar disorder. Also going to try a new psychiatrist to get a better assessment. </p><p></p><p>Unfortunately right now he is at an overcrowded public school Special Education program so it is mostly me working on his bathroom issues with a bit of help from extended family -- luckily I work mostly from home -- so I have extra time to spend working with him (and to change his diapers).</p><p></p><p>I have tried everything I can think of to encourage normal usage of the toilet and stopping the unnecessary usage of his diapers, but he always flies into a rage when I bring it up, he really does use the diapers as a blanket of security because of his extreme fear of having a colitis-related accident in his pants -- understandable -- also going to try to see a child psychologist, gastroenterologist to try and deal with the fear of bathrooms, dependance on diapers and try to get a new medication to calm down the bowel flare ups -- the only thing is since I'm self employed I'm underinsured and a bit short on funds.</p><p></p><p>I think that a lot of his issues stem from essentially being abandoned as a child, then again by his adoptive mother, so he feels the need to be 'taken care of' which includes the very individual attention given during diaper changes -- and right now I'm really all he has -- plus my new girlfriend who has been super understanding and even helps out with diaper changes, though I get vibes of resentment from him towards her encroachment on my attention. </p><p></p><p>He has become extremely attached to me lately and I am trying to get him to take more responsibility for his diapering duties along with making his own friends ... There is no way he is capable of changing messy diapers -- I tried having him do that once and lets just say the results weren't pretty, but I definitely think that I am going to try and encourage him to take care of his own wet diapers -- though the couple of times I've tried that he's mucked up the tapes and resulted in a big old, saggy and leaky diaper - I guess I can have him take care of everything but taping them closed. </p><p></p><p>Another alternative I'm thinking is for him to only wear diapers to school / social situations (and also for bedwetting) while reassuring him that if he does have an accident at home its no big deal, as a way to wean him off of diapers. </p><p></p><p>It is just getting a little bit ridiculous ... a couple of weeks ago I went to see a relative a few hours plane ride away I had to change his messy diapers in the handicapped stall of a public men's room -- I couldn't bring him on a plane with a soiled diaper -- and believe me a 13 year old boy walking into a stall with his father gets very suspicious looks.</p><p></p><p>The oddest thing is that while he refuses to even go near a public toilet by himself, he has no problem having a poopy diaper changed in a public restroom. When I had to change his messy diaper in the handicapped stall of a public airport bathroom (not an easy task) he showed none of the signs of fear or anxiety that he does when I suggest he just *goes #1* in the toilet at home. </p><p></p><p>I've realized he has serious neglect and neediness issues and am getting all the help for him that I can. I think I'm going to have him spend a night or so a week at either my girlfriend or brother's house to help his separation problems.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="single_dad, post: 526771, member: 14487"] Yes, I guess I understated 'manic episodes' as he does take Risperdal for mood stabilization, essentially bipolar disorder. Also going to try a new psychiatrist to get a better assessment. Unfortunately right now he is at an overcrowded public school Special Education program so it is mostly me working on his bathroom issues with a bit of help from extended family -- luckily I work mostly from home -- so I have extra time to spend working with him (and to change his diapers). I have tried everything I can think of to encourage normal usage of the toilet and stopping the unnecessary usage of his diapers, but he always flies into a rage when I bring it up, he really does use the diapers as a blanket of security because of his extreme fear of having a colitis-related accident in his pants -- understandable -- also going to try to see a child psychologist, gastroenterologist to try and deal with the fear of bathrooms, dependance on diapers and try to get a new medication to calm down the bowel flare ups -- the only thing is since I'm self employed I'm underinsured and a bit short on funds. I think that a lot of his issues stem from essentially being abandoned as a child, then again by his adoptive mother, so he feels the need to be 'taken care of' which includes the very individual attention given during diaper changes -- and right now I'm really all he has -- plus my new girlfriend who has been super understanding and even helps out with diaper changes, though I get vibes of resentment from him towards her encroachment on my attention. He has become extremely attached to me lately and I am trying to get him to take more responsibility for his diapering duties along with making his own friends ... There is no way he is capable of changing messy diapers -- I tried having him do that once and lets just say the results weren't pretty, but I definitely think that I am going to try and encourage him to take care of his own wet diapers -- though the couple of times I've tried that he's mucked up the tapes and resulted in a big old, saggy and leaky diaper - I guess I can have him take care of everything but taping them closed. Another alternative I'm thinking is for him to only wear diapers to school / social situations (and also for bedwetting) while reassuring him that if he does have an accident at home its no big deal, as a way to wean him off of diapers. It is just getting a little bit ridiculous ... a couple of weeks ago I went to see a relative a few hours plane ride away I had to change his messy diapers in the handicapped stall of a public men's room -- I couldn't bring him on a plane with a soiled diaper -- and believe me a 13 year old boy walking into a stall with his father gets very suspicious looks. The oddest thing is that while he refuses to even go near a public toilet by himself, he has no problem having a poopy diaper changed in a public restroom. When I had to change his messy diaper in the handicapped stall of a public airport bathroom (not an easy task) he showed none of the signs of fear or anxiety that he does when I suggest he just *goes #1* in the toilet at home. I've realized he has serious neglect and neediness issues and am getting all the help for him that I can. I think I'm going to have him spend a night or so a week at either my girlfriend or brother's house to help his separation problems. [/QUOTE]
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