Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
15 yr old going to be arrested after court appearance tomorrow: our choice (sigh)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 219905" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p><u>UPDATE:</u> We may know tomorrow if he is accepted at the facility we applied to in Pennsylvania. They are very thorough and needed documentation from his last therapist and psychiatrist. That makes me feel better. Plus the judge's reaction in court on learning the name of the place: he was enthusiastic and said we couldn't have picked a better place. I wasn't in court last Tuesday, my ex was, but he said the judge was totally cooperative with us and almost grandfatherly with difficult child 2 (a stern grandpa). We'll see what happens if they agree to treat him. Then we have to get him in the car for a three hour ride. I don't know what we will do if he refuses to go. It means a delay so that we can submit thename of another facility (our choice, and I'm leaning toward wilderness), get the court to order that, and get him admitted. If he refuses the second facility, he goes to juvie for an undetermined length of time.</p><p> </p><p>The first two days after court he was shaken, stirred, scared to death and was cooperative with his curfew. Past two nights he's been out later than he should have been; I called his dad last night at seven and asked if junior was home, and he said no, he was out with his friends. He sounded as though I had woken him up. I still don't know if he even came home last night. It's very frustrating to deal with a parent who is so passive-aggressive in every aspect of his life: he figures the court will put the ankle bracelet on him after he calls the P.O. tomorrow morning to report our boys' lack of cooperation with curfew.</p><p> </p><p>In the meantime, I'm trying very hard to keep in the holiday spirit when I feel like doing absolutely nothing. My mom and brothers are very concerned about me, indeed, they seem more angry toward my kids than I am. My youngest read on Facebook that one of our cousin's has forbidden his son to hang around with mine because my brother told him over Thanksgiving about difficult child 2's involvement with weed and school refusal. I should have already had that conversation with my cousin, but I'm overwhelmed and I put it off. </p><p> </p><p>I'm trying not to feel sad and hurt that my side of the family talks amongst themselves about my kids in an unflattering way, and to keep in mind that they are right: my two oldest are not in a good place right now and not good companions for their children. I guess I feel sorry for myself that there isn't support for them along with the warnings and rejection. I even have petty feelings about my brother's judgmental attitude given his hellraiser reputation as a teen and his own occasional week and coke use. The cousin who told his son not to hang out with mine keeps his marijuana in his toolbox, where his 15 yr old son found it and asked his dad, how come you can smoke it and I can't? (Cousin mumbled something about it helping him to sleep at night, his overactive thyroid condition, etc.)</p><p> </p><p>My son told his father Thanksgiving weekend that he felt like he didn't have a family anymore. I guess it's too much to ask a kid to understand and accept that his uncles and grandmother still love him even though they are disgusted with his behavior. It's hard for me, too!</p><p> </p><p>I need to get a tree, start gift shopping, and I just want to sleep for a month. But I can't let myself slide down the despair mountain when I have 12 yr old easy child who needs as much normalcy as possible. </p><p> </p><p>Normalcy: I saw my shrink this past week and told her that my youngest slept over her dad's home last Saturday night and that nobody threw anything at anyone or physically fought or damaged another's property. She shook her head at me and said, that's sick, that just having no physical aggression for 24 hours is something to celebrate. She is actually very supportive of me and is trying to get me to acknowledge my doormat-tedness and rise above it.</p><p> </p><p>I feel like ignoring the chores and Christmas tasks this Sunday and buying myself an eyeliner from the MAC store and later watching a movie on the couch with a cuppa tea. Who's with me?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 219905, member: 5941"] [U]UPDATE:[/U] We may know tomorrow if he is accepted at the facility we applied to in Pennsylvania. They are very thorough and needed documentation from his last therapist and psychiatrist. That makes me feel better. Plus the judge's reaction in court on learning the name of the place: he was enthusiastic and said we couldn't have picked a better place. I wasn't in court last Tuesday, my ex was, but he said the judge was totally cooperative with us and almost grandfatherly with difficult child 2 (a stern grandpa). We'll see what happens if they agree to treat him. Then we have to get him in the car for a three hour ride. I don't know what we will do if he refuses to go. It means a delay so that we can submit thename of another facility (our choice, and I'm leaning toward wilderness), get the court to order that, and get him admitted. If he refuses the second facility, he goes to juvie for an undetermined length of time. The first two days after court he was shaken, stirred, scared to death and was cooperative with his curfew. Past two nights he's been out later than he should have been; I called his dad last night at seven and asked if junior was home, and he said no, he was out with his friends. He sounded as though I had woken him up. I still don't know if he even came home last night. It's very frustrating to deal with a parent who is so passive-aggressive in every aspect of his life: he figures the court will put the ankle bracelet on him after he calls the P.O. tomorrow morning to report our boys' lack of cooperation with curfew. In the meantime, I'm trying very hard to keep in the holiday spirit when I feel like doing absolutely nothing. My mom and brothers are very concerned about me, indeed, they seem more angry toward my kids than I am. My youngest read on Facebook that one of our cousin's has forbidden his son to hang around with mine because my brother told him over Thanksgiving about difficult child 2's involvement with weed and school refusal. I should have already had that conversation with my cousin, but I'm overwhelmed and I put it off. I'm trying not to feel sad and hurt that my side of the family talks amongst themselves about my kids in an unflattering way, and to keep in mind that they are right: my two oldest are not in a good place right now and not good companions for their children. I guess I feel sorry for myself that there isn't support for them along with the warnings and rejection. I even have petty feelings about my brother's judgmental attitude given his hellraiser reputation as a teen and his own occasional week and coke use. The cousin who told his son not to hang out with mine keeps his marijuana in his toolbox, where his 15 yr old son found it and asked his dad, how come you can smoke it and I can't? (Cousin mumbled something about it helping him to sleep at night, his overactive thyroid condition, etc.) My son told his father Thanksgiving weekend that he felt like he didn't have a family anymore. I guess it's too much to ask a kid to understand and accept that his uncles and grandmother still love him even though they are disgusted with his behavior. It's hard for me, too! I need to get a tree, start gift shopping, and I just want to sleep for a month. But I can't let myself slide down the despair mountain when I have 12 yr old easy child who needs as much normalcy as possible. Normalcy: I saw my shrink this past week and told her that my youngest slept over her dad's home last Saturday night and that nobody threw anything at anyone or physically fought or damaged another's property. She shook her head at me and said, that's sick, that just having no physical aggression for 24 hours is something to celebrate. She is actually very supportive of me and is trying to get me to acknowledge my doormat-tedness and rise above it. I feel like ignoring the chores and Christmas tasks this Sunday and buying myself an eyeliner from the MAC store and later watching a movie on the couch with a cuppa tea. Who's with me? [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
15 yr old going to be arrested after court appearance tomorrow: our choice (sigh)
Top