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16 Year Old Son Imploding
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<blockquote data-quote="username40" data-source="post: 733971" data-attributes="member: 22862"><p>I just wanted to give a quick update to this. My son is now 17 we've been to court three times. They don't do much other than put him on probation, but due to cuts to their program in order to be removed from the home you basically have to have extreme violence and threats of violence. </p><p></p><p>Before our last court date, he knew we were going to hammer him with drinking, drugs, stealing, terrible behavior, not going to school, etc... So he spoke to us so softly and kindly, saying how we were right, his behavior has been terrible, he's struggling because he's lost all of his friends and social circle and never made an attempt to make amends. He's extremely sensitive and he lashes out with very little provocation and stews over what most people would consider minor annoyances. And because he's so miserable he takes it out on us. He promised changes and seemed so genuine (I knew he was full of <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />). Things were calm for a bit simply because we gave him his stuff back (new start), and asked nothing of him. My wife was like "everything's going so good". I said "it is? He's failing out of High School, he lives in filth, has no friends, drinks and does drugs alone in his room, sleeps until 6:00 PM at night and plays Fortnight until 8:00 AM, how is this good?" She said "he's being nice", I said "ask him to do one thing, clean his room, pick up his laundry and see the reaction you get". So she did, and here we are...</p><p></p><p>He was laying in bed at 4:00 PM, and hadn't been to night school, which he's failing out of. She said he needs to get up, clean his room, and get to school on time. My son preceded to lambaste her with every vile thing you can think of. When my wife said you can't talk to me like that he stared straight at her and said "I can do whatever I want, and if you yell at me again, I'll make it so you can't yell at me". My wife didn't tell me this until recently, and he's been a mean lying <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> anyway, once she did I lost it. He's 17 and over 6 feet, big kid, he can't be threatening his 130 lb 5'3 Mom. I dragged him out of bed and put him through his door and slammed him on his back and told him if he threatens his mother physically again, the beating he will get from me will be so severe I do not give a <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> about consequences, jail, or anything else. I felt terribly guilty about it, I've never been there before, but we are all at our breaking point. My wife is now on anti-depressants and benzos just to cope with life. I take anti-depressants and klonopin to get through.</p><p></p><p>We took pictures of his living situation, he lives in filth, we believed he soiled himself and bed several times prior to this blowup. Hasn't showered in weeks or maybe months. It was enough to get him committed for a week, they are treating him for bi-polar, and they believe there's an underlying personality disorder. For years when he's gone to doctors and therapists he lied to them, didn't admit any symptoms, with his therapist he would just make up stories about how many friends he has, he's popular, and on sports teams. He USED to be popular and a great ball player, until this all started ~9th grade, since then it's been a living hell.</p><p></p><p>I still think he has a conduct disorder like anti-social, oppositional defiant disorder, or maybe borderline personality.</p><p></p><p>But at least he's in a hospital until next week, and I'm enjoying the peace with my wife and other two kids. My wife is sad he's there, I'm not, not even one bit. I hold out very little hope for the kid at this point. I think he's sick, but I also just think he's a mean <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />. This week will be the best week I've had in years. I will feel normalcy for the first time in 3 years.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="username40, post: 733971, member: 22862"] I just wanted to give a quick update to this. My son is now 17 we've been to court three times. They don't do much other than put him on probation, but due to cuts to their program in order to be removed from the home you basically have to have extreme violence and threats of violence. Before our last court date, he knew we were going to hammer him with drinking, drugs, stealing, terrible behavior, not going to school, etc... So he spoke to us so softly and kindly, saying how we were right, his behavior has been terrible, he's struggling because he's lost all of his friends and social circle and never made an attempt to make amends. He's extremely sensitive and he lashes out with very little provocation and stews over what most people would consider minor annoyances. And because he's so miserable he takes it out on us. He promised changes and seemed so genuine (I knew he was full of :censored2:). Things were calm for a bit simply because we gave him his stuff back (new start), and asked nothing of him. My wife was like "everything's going so good". I said "it is? He's failing out of High School, he lives in filth, has no friends, drinks and does drugs alone in his room, sleeps until 6:00 PM at night and plays Fortnight until 8:00 AM, how is this good?" She said "he's being nice", I said "ask him to do one thing, clean his room, pick up his laundry and see the reaction you get". So she did, and here we are... He was laying in bed at 4:00 PM, and hadn't been to night school, which he's failing out of. She said he needs to get up, clean his room, and get to school on time. My son preceded to lambaste her with every vile thing you can think of. When my wife said you can't talk to me like that he stared straight at her and said "I can do whatever I want, and if you yell at me again, I'll make it so you can't yell at me". My wife didn't tell me this until recently, and he's been a mean lying :censored2: anyway, once she did I lost it. He's 17 and over 6 feet, big kid, he can't be threatening his 130 lb 5'3 Mom. I dragged him out of bed and put him through his door and slammed him on his back and told him if he threatens his mother physically again, the beating he will get from me will be so severe I do not give a :censored2: about consequences, jail, or anything else. I felt terribly guilty about it, I've never been there before, but we are all at our breaking point. My wife is now on anti-depressants and benzos just to cope with life. I take anti-depressants and klonopin to get through. We took pictures of his living situation, he lives in filth, we believed he soiled himself and bed several times prior to this blowup. Hasn't showered in weeks or maybe months. It was enough to get him committed for a week, they are treating him for bi-polar, and they believe there's an underlying personality disorder. For years when he's gone to doctors and therapists he lied to them, didn't admit any symptoms, with his therapist he would just make up stories about how many friends he has, he's popular, and on sports teams. He USED to be popular and a great ball player, until this all started ~9th grade, since then it's been a living hell. I still think he has a conduct disorder like anti-social, oppositional defiant disorder, or maybe borderline personality. But at least he's in a hospital until next week, and I'm enjoying the peace with my wife and other two kids. My wife is sad he's there, I'm not, not even one bit. I hold out very little hope for the kid at this point. I think he's sick, but I also just think he's a mean :censored2:. This week will be the best week I've had in years. I will feel normalcy for the first time in 3 years. [/QUOTE]
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