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Substance Abuse
17 yr old son, defiant and using
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 637869" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My daughter was on parole twice. It isn't on her record though because she wasn't eighteen. What are you afraid of by involving the court and police? I always wanted my daughter to fear the consequences of drug use. And it didn't work. She used until she wanted to quit for reasons of her own.</p><p>But at least she realized that nobody would bail her out of any trouble she got in.</p><p>She never got into trouble with the police after she turned eighteen. I think she realized that she was on her own if she did get into trouble.</p><p>I called the cops when my daughter was on the streets after curfew or sometimes I didn't even know she was out and she'd be brought home by the cops.</p><p>Are you one of those people who's afraid of the government? I'm not asking to deride you. I just want to know where you are coming from.</p><p></p><p>In the end, if your son does stuff like this at eighteen, he WILL end up in legal trouble and you can't do anything about it. And it won't get erased from his record. I think you should talk to a lawyer to check your options and seek advice. I know I'd never have been able to sit around and not call the cops if my daughter left the house for several days. I'd be too nervous. I'd have to find her. Period. The cops were at my house a lot. Sometimes we invited them to help us. Sometimes Daughter was breaking the law so she got brought to us.</p><p></p><p>I have a pretty good feeling about most cops. Yes, I know there are bad ones. I think that most, dealt with respectfully by us, can be our friends and helpers when our children are minors. We have many police friends and husband's dad was a cop. Our youngest daughter is in school for criminal justice. Seventeen is a much better time to ask for their help than to have them get into trouble on their own at eighteen. The cops no longer go to you at eighteen. Now it's all on them. If your son is living with you at eighteen and disappears for four days, you can't ask for help. That's when the hard choices come in...you have to ask yourself if this is something you can live with or if he will have to leave for the peace and sanity of the majority of your family. It is such a terrible decision to have to make.</p><p></p><p>What a difference a year makes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 637869, member: 1550"] My daughter was on parole twice. It isn't on her record though because she wasn't eighteen. What are you afraid of by involving the court and police? I always wanted my daughter to fear the consequences of drug use. And it didn't work. She used until she wanted to quit for reasons of her own. But at least she realized that nobody would bail her out of any trouble she got in. She never got into trouble with the police after she turned eighteen. I think she realized that she was on her own if she did get into trouble. I called the cops when my daughter was on the streets after curfew or sometimes I didn't even know she was out and she'd be brought home by the cops. Are you one of those people who's afraid of the government? I'm not asking to deride you. I just want to know where you are coming from. In the end, if your son does stuff like this at eighteen, he WILL end up in legal trouble and you can't do anything about it. And it won't get erased from his record. I think you should talk to a lawyer to check your options and seek advice. I know I'd never have been able to sit around and not call the cops if my daughter left the house for several days. I'd be too nervous. I'd have to find her. Period. The cops were at my house a lot. Sometimes we invited them to help us. Sometimes Daughter was breaking the law so she got brought to us. I have a pretty good feeling about most cops. Yes, I know there are bad ones. I think that most, dealt with respectfully by us, can be our friends and helpers when our children are minors. We have many police friends and husband's dad was a cop. Our youngest daughter is in school for criminal justice. Seventeen is a much better time to ask for their help than to have them get into trouble on their own at eighteen. The cops no longer go to you at eighteen. Now it's all on them. If your son is living with you at eighteen and disappears for four days, you can't ask for help. That's when the hard choices come in...you have to ask yourself if this is something you can live with or if he will have to leave for the peace and sanity of the majority of your family. It is such a terrible decision to have to make. What a difference a year makes. [/QUOTE]
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17 yr old son, defiant and using
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