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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
17 yr old son, defiant and using
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 638809" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>RC,</p><p></p><p>I think you answered your own question. I think it would be folly to let difficult child come back home and rip the rest of the family apart. There is absolutely no guarantee that would help him and it is a huge risk for the rest of the kids..... and if he was violent again in the home it would not be good for the other kids (or the custody case). </p><p></p><p>Let the court know you love him (go to the court dates) but that he cannot come home because you have other kids to take care of. If there are family members that you feel are appropriate to take him in then have them come too.... and it is understandable if you dont want to put other family members in that situation (I would not have done that to my family) or if you dont think they are appropriate.</p><p></p><p>And of course you feel lost.... this is a losing situation. It is awful. So you need to take care of yourself and get some real life support. Counseling can help. A good parent support group (Such as alanon) can help. It is possible to get to a place where you feel more clear, less lost and have more acceptance. It does take time and lots of support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 638809, member: 15801"] RC, I think you answered your own question. I think it would be folly to let difficult child come back home and rip the rest of the family apart. There is absolutely no guarantee that would help him and it is a huge risk for the rest of the kids..... and if he was violent again in the home it would not be good for the other kids (or the custody case). Let the court know you love him (go to the court dates) but that he cannot come home because you have other kids to take care of. If there are family members that you feel are appropriate to take him in then have them come too.... and it is understandable if you dont want to put other family members in that situation (I would not have done that to my family) or if you dont think they are appropriate. And of course you feel lost.... this is a losing situation. It is awful. So you need to take care of yourself and get some real life support. Counseling can help. A good parent support group (Such as alanon) can help. It is possible to get to a place where you feel more clear, less lost and have more acceptance. It does take time and lots of support. [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
17 yr old son, defiant and using
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