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Substance Abuse
17 yr old son doing drugs, hanging w members of a gang in NY
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675432" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Defiant, I do not have much time right now, but want to say one thing. </p><p></p><p>Some of us have shared that we had difficult family lives as children. And when our children began to have trouble, our own pasts were triggered. </p><p></p><p>One of things that is hard for me, is the lack of hope and faith. A belief in a better outcome. It is more about myself, than a lack of optimism about others and life itself. </p><p></p><p>On some level I have felt myself either unlovable or without hope. While I achieved a great deal in my life, it was in defiance of what I believed was my true lot in life.</p><p>When my son became troubled, severely so, I believed it was my curse. Inside of me, I think that is what I felt. That I did not deserve better. For a long time I was an ineffective parent to my son, because I was fighting against the reality of things. This "curse." Needless to say, it did not work.</p><p></p><p>Your husband sounds like a wonderful and amazing man. For you to have not believed in yourself, to say "even when I didn't deserve it," reminded me of myself.</p><p></p><p>I think I am not the only one whose fears get triggered in our travails with children. We fear the worst. About ourselves. And we may project it to our children. Our own fear and sense that the worst might come to bear. </p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675432, member: 18958"] Defiant, I do not have much time right now, but want to say one thing. Some of us have shared that we had difficult family lives as children. And when our children began to have trouble, our own pasts were triggered. One of things that is hard for me, is the lack of hope and faith. A belief in a better outcome. It is more about myself, than a lack of optimism about others and life itself. On some level I have felt myself either unlovable or without hope. While I achieved a great deal in my life, it was in defiance of what I believed was my true lot in life. When my son became troubled, severely so, I believed it was my curse. Inside of me, I think that is what I felt. That I did not deserve better. For a long time I was an ineffective parent to my son, because I was fighting against the reality of things. This "curse." Needless to say, it did not work. Your husband sounds like a wonderful and amazing man. For you to have not believed in yourself, to say "even when I didn't deserve it," reminded me of myself. I think I am not the only one whose fears get triggered in our travails with children. We fear the worst. About ourselves. And we may project it to our children. Our own fear and sense that the worst might come to bear. COPA [/QUOTE]
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17 yr old son doing drugs, hanging w members of a gang in NY
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