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Substance Abuse
18 year old difficult child, homeless for 5 days and then arrested, it's a nightmare
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 486269"><p>Pinevalley, don't beat yourself up for letting him use the car. We made that mistake for a while too...Remember as much as recovery (with relapse) is a process for them.... learning not to enable and to live your life is a process for you. It is so darned painful to see your child steal from you, con you, take advantage of you when you have just loved them. I hope he does go to rehab just to give you the month of breathing room to heal a bit and to remember what it is like to live in a house without all the lying and stealing. Once you have that peace again it is easier to start thinking that you won't put up with the chaos again.</p><p></p><p>I do think if you can find a good parents alanon group that it would be a huge help. During the meetings themselves they are not so focused on the difficult child but on you and your own recovery. However you may meet other real live people who truly understand what you are going through and can give you good support to not enable him.</p><p></p><p>And keep coming here too.... We are a unique group of parents who have been there done that and we truly understand. And many of us are still in the process of figuring out how to support our kids in recovery without enabling them. As Nancy said drug addicts lie.... I think that is one of the really hard things to realize that you can't trust a word they say. It is the actions that count.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 486269"] Pinevalley, don't beat yourself up for letting him use the car. We made that mistake for a while too...Remember as much as recovery (with relapse) is a process for them.... learning not to enable and to live your life is a process for you. It is so darned painful to see your child steal from you, con you, take advantage of you when you have just loved them. I hope he does go to rehab just to give you the month of breathing room to heal a bit and to remember what it is like to live in a house without all the lying and stealing. Once you have that peace again it is easier to start thinking that you won't put up with the chaos again. I do think if you can find a good parents alanon group that it would be a huge help. During the meetings themselves they are not so focused on the difficult child but on you and your own recovery. However you may meet other real live people who truly understand what you are going through and can give you good support to not enable him. And keep coming here too.... We are a unique group of parents who have been there done that and we truly understand. And many of us are still in the process of figuring out how to support our kids in recovery without enabling them. As Nancy said drug addicts lie.... I think that is one of the really hard things to realize that you can't trust a word they say. It is the actions that count. TL [/QUOTE]
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18 year old difficult child, homeless for 5 days and then arrested, it's a nightmare
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