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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 382813" data-attributes="member: 1514">Lee, Im am so sorry you had to find our board but welcome to our corner of the internet.&nbsp; Young adults this age are very difficult when they get the idea that they are adults now and can do as they want, parents know nothing, we just want to control their fun, but they dont want to be responsible for any of the adult things in life.&nbsp; I so know how that goes after raising 3 adult men.&nbsp; As you can see in my signature, my youngest is now 24.&nbsp; I will be perfectly honest with you, if your 19 year old is not working, not attending school, is doing drugs and is being verbally abusive to you and your family then I think it is time to set some firm limits on him. It is doing no one, including him, any good to have him there acting like that.Maybe set a time for a family meeting and lay out a plan telling him that while you love him dearly that he has to start acting like the adult he is.&nbsp; He must start treating everyone in the family with respect.&nbsp; He must either enroll in school full time and work part time or work full time.&nbsp; You expect him to pay rent and his bills.&nbsp; He must do his own chores.&nbsp; List family rules that you have.&nbsp; If he scoffs at this or refuses to abide by these rules, well, he is free to find shelter elsewhere.&nbsp; Have a list of local shelters available.&nbsp; These kids tend to be mighty savvy and can sofa surf with friends.&nbsp; One thing, if you are paying for his car or car insurance and he is using drugs or drinking...take him off.&nbsp; You dont want that liability.&nbsp; If you are paying his cell phone bill and he wont abide the house rules, shut it off.&nbsp; He can work and get a prepaid.&nbsp; Comes with being an adult.&nbsp; Sad, huh?&nbsp; He is old enough to join the military and vote. He is certainly old enough to leave the nest.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 382813, member: 1514"] Lee, Im am so sorry you had to find our board but welcome to our corner of the internet. Young adults this age are very difficult when they get the idea that they are adults now and can do as they want, parents know nothing, we just want to control their fun, but they dont want to be responsible for any of the adult things in life. I so know how that goes after raising 3 adult men. As you can see in my signature, my youngest is now 24. I will be perfectly honest with you, if your 19 year old is not working, not attending school, is doing drugs and is being verbally abusive to you and your family then I think it is time to set some firm limits on him. It is doing no one, including him, any good to have him there acting like that. Maybe set a time for a family meeting and lay out a plan telling him that while you love him dearly that he has to start acting like the adult he is. He must start treating everyone in the family with respect. He must either enroll in school full time and work part time or work full time. You expect him to pay rent and his bills. He must do his own chores. List family rules that you have. If he scoffs at this or refuses to abide by these rules, well, he is free to find shelter elsewhere. Have a list of local shelters available. These kids tend to be mighty savvy and can sofa surf with friends. One thing, if you are paying for his car or car insurance and he is using drugs or drinking...take him off. You dont want that liability. If you are paying his cell phone bill and he wont abide the house rules, shut it off. He can work and get a prepaid. Comes with being an adult. Sad, huh? He is old enough to join the military and vote. He is certainly old enough to leave the nest. [/QUOTE]

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