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20 Year Old is a Mess
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 762790" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree with you. The current situation is untenable. Right now your daughter calls the shots. Your job is in jeopardy for her unreliability. If it's getting physical in your house, then your house is no longer your haven. Somebody is either going to get hurt, the police will be called, and somebody will be in real trouble. Your daughter is liable to lie and set somebody up. If the baby is present, the baby could be taken by CPS away from the family. Everybody is implicated if there is family violence. I am not trying to scare you. I am trying to establish it has already gone beyond the point of return.</p><p></p><p>You have decisions to make. Many, many parents are irresponsible and go from one partner to the next. If this alone was cause to be determined to be an unfit parent, 1 of 10 babies would be taken. At the same time,, outside of their own home, parents do not get to determine what kind of conduct of their adult children, is adequate or inadequate. That is for the courts to decide.</p><p></p><p>This is a question of boundaries I think. You cannot determine the fate of your granddaughter 100 percent... That is reality number 1. You could perhaps decide you want to raise her, propose that to your daughter, and make full legal arrangements to protect yourselves and the baby. But your daughter most likely will say no.</p><p></p><p>The reality is you cannot control the baby and you clearly cannot control your daughter. She is making it crystal clear that she controls herself and the baby. What you can do is withdraw and withdraw your help. I really don't see other options because your daughter is ungovernable and irresponsible. You can involve CPS if you believe that her conduct has risen to the level of neglect and abuse. If you believe it has, you really have no choice but to act in one way or another. There are no easy answers here about courses of action, Except that the present situation must stop.</p><p></p><p>Welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 762790, member: 18958"] I agree with you. The current situation is untenable. Right now your daughter calls the shots. Your job is in jeopardy for her unreliability. If it's getting physical in your house, then your house is no longer your haven. Somebody is either going to get hurt, the police will be called, and somebody will be in real trouble. Your daughter is liable to lie and set somebody up. If the baby is present, the baby could be taken by CPS away from the family. Everybody is implicated if there is family violence. I am not trying to scare you. I am trying to establish it has already gone beyond the point of return. You have decisions to make. Many, many parents are irresponsible and go from one partner to the next. If this alone was cause to be determined to be an unfit parent, 1 of 10 babies would be taken. At the same time,, outside of their own home, parents do not get to determine what kind of conduct of their adult children, is adequate or inadequate. That is for the courts to decide. This is a question of boundaries I think. You cannot determine the fate of your granddaughter 100 percent... That is reality number 1. You could perhaps decide you want to raise her, propose that to your daughter, and make full legal arrangements to protect yourselves and the baby. But your daughter most likely will say no. The reality is you cannot control the baby and you clearly cannot control your daughter. She is making it crystal clear that she controls herself and the baby. What you can do is withdraw and withdraw your help. I really don't see other options because your daughter is ungovernable and irresponsible. You can involve CPS if you believe that her conduct has risen to the level of neglect and abuse. If you believe it has, you really have no choice but to act in one way or another. There are no easy answers here about courses of action, Except that the present situation must stop. Welcome. [/QUOTE]
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