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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 729390" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>LBL, this is hard on everyone. Men handle things so differently. Hubs buried himself with work or tv and didn’t want to even talk much at all about what was going on with our two. </p><p>I found this forum and let it all out. </p><p>Don’t apologize for sharing your feelings. No one would expect you to do otherwise under the circumstances. </p><p>So much has happened and you have been waiting for this moment. That’s a lot of stress and anxiety if you ask me, a lot of faith and hope that your son will take this opportunity to get his head back on and follow a healthy path. </p><p>Who knows why your husband “can’t find the time” to drive your son? Who knows why men can carry on as if all is normal? I see it as everyone has their own way of processing, women can lament and vent til the cows come home and guys just seem to stuff it down with work or keeping busy. It’s in there. I don’t think it’s not that they don’t feel it. I think it’s that they feel it too much. What man would say “Honey, I just can’t bring myself to take my son there?” For whatever reason. No guy I know.</p><p>My hubs was an old fashioned, non talker, get the job done, kind of guy. Underneath all of that bravado was a very soft heart. He covered it up with external toughness.</p><p>The movies always portray these relationships where couples have heartfelt, deep discussions. Huh. That never happened in 36 years. We were so busy making a living, raising kids. Hubs was not much of a talker.</p><p>I would have to sense things, look for clues, Jedi mind read what was going on with hubs. He was a doer. Most men I know are. The tougher things got, the busier he got. </p><p>Forgive me if I am wrong. Perhaps your husband deep down inside is just as emotionally drained as you are. He just doesn’t, or can’t show it.</p><p>Most guys my age were raised to be tough and suck it up. That’s a lot of ignoring and stuffing down feelings.</p><p>I know you must be exhausted, full of anticipation and hope and scared at the same time. I would imagine your husband feels the same. Guys don’t like to be vulnerable. Maybe dropping your son off at rehab is more than he can bear. Maybe he will change his mind and go with you.</p><p>I am praying for peace of mind and heart for both of you and hope that E goes willingly and grabs on to this chance to be free from the drug demon.</p><p>Warm hugs to you.</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 729390, member: 19522"] LBL, this is hard on everyone. Men handle things so differently. Hubs buried himself with work or tv and didn’t want to even talk much at all about what was going on with our two. I found this forum and let it all out. Don’t apologize for sharing your feelings. No one would expect you to do otherwise under the circumstances. So much has happened and you have been waiting for this moment. That’s a lot of stress and anxiety if you ask me, a lot of faith and hope that your son will take this opportunity to get his head back on and follow a healthy path. Who knows why your husband “can’t find the time” to drive your son? Who knows why men can carry on as if all is normal? I see it as everyone has their own way of processing, women can lament and vent til the cows come home and guys just seem to stuff it down with work or keeping busy. It’s in there. I don’t think it’s not that they don’t feel it. I think it’s that they feel it too much. What man would say “Honey, I just can’t bring myself to take my son there?” For whatever reason. No guy I know. My hubs was an old fashioned, non talker, get the job done, kind of guy. Underneath all of that bravado was a very soft heart. He covered it up with external toughness. The movies always portray these relationships where couples have heartfelt, deep discussions. Huh. That never happened in 36 years. We were so busy making a living, raising kids. Hubs was not much of a talker. I would have to sense things, look for clues, Jedi mind read what was going on with hubs. He was a doer. Most men I know are. The tougher things got, the busier he got. Forgive me if I am wrong. Perhaps your husband deep down inside is just as emotionally drained as you are. He just doesn’t, or can’t show it. Most guys my age were raised to be tough and suck it up. That’s a lot of ignoring and stuffing down feelings. I know you must be exhausted, full of anticipation and hope and scared at the same time. I would imagine your husband feels the same. Guys don’t like to be vulnerable. Maybe dropping your son off at rehab is more than he can bear. Maybe he will change his mind and go with you. I am praying for peace of mind and heart for both of you and hope that E goes willingly and grabs on to this chance to be free from the drug demon. Warm hugs to you. Leafy [/QUOTE]
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