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26 year old son beat up my 30 year old daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="blackgnat" data-source="post: 617435" data-attributes="member: 13561"><p>I feel your pain and uncertainty, aud-3 years ago my son punched me so hard that I spent 5 days in the ICU with a bleed on the brain. I STILL let him back into my home and was fearful of all the things that you express, he would be homeless, commit suicide, etc. I let the behavior continue and escalate until I lived in abject terror of him and what he was capable of doing. The police were called many times, as I was always the whipping boy for the problems he was having but after years of protecting and trying to "fix" him, I decided that I would never let him put his hands on me again without police intervention. </p><p></p><p>But it's still no way to live. The fact that he so violently and brutally attacked your daughter is appalling and as hard as it is (the hardest thing I have EVER had to do) you can NOT let him live with you again. The potential for murder is too great. You need peace of mind -not that you will find it easy, knowing your son is not "safe" in your house-but you need to know that he will not ever be able to threaten and carry out his threats against you and your loved ones.</p><p></p><p>I truly understand how you feel and it's incredibly stressful. My son ended up going to a Mission where he was clean, sober, responsible and loving (the young man I USED to know!) for 8 months. Iwas full of hope and joy. As soon as he graduated from the program, he went back out and began everything he had always done to get himself in trouble in the first place.</p><p></p><p>I took him to Colorado in June of last year (I have a thread about it on here-don't know how to do the link, sorry) and he had a mixed bag of good and bad experiences. He was homeless, but survived, met a girl and was planning to marry her. Told me about this in November. A week later I got a call from the county jail-he was arrested for trying to STRANGLE HER and is now facing a possible 5-16 year PRISON sentence.</p><p></p><p>I'm just realizing that my story is not very encouraging to you and I apologise-not to say that any of this will happen to YOUR son, but if someone has those kind of violent tendencies, I don't believe they will change and you MUST PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR LOVED ONES from the danger. He is going to be who he is. Of course he won't like having nowhere to go but there are places available and believe me you do NOT want to be the outlet for his rage. Try to get as far away from him as possible so that you don't live in fear of him dropping by unexpectedly and with a dangerous agenda on his mind (I used to fear that too and moved to an apartment and never told him where I lived).</p><p></p><p>I do hope I haven't hijacked your thread-I will start my own about my current fears, but just wanted to show support for you and your daughter-I can't even imagine the pain and terror SHE is feeling! And to let you know that without therapy and courage (if I do say so myself) I would NEVER have distanced myself from my son and would probably be dead by now. I wish you all the strength and love I can-this is SO hard, but you and your daughter cannot live in this kind of fear-he is doing what he wants and there must be far reaching consequences for his actions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="blackgnat, post: 617435, member: 13561"] I feel your pain and uncertainty, aud-3 years ago my son punched me so hard that I spent 5 days in the ICU with a bleed on the brain. I STILL let him back into my home and was fearful of all the things that you express, he would be homeless, commit suicide, etc. I let the behavior continue and escalate until I lived in abject terror of him and what he was capable of doing. The police were called many times, as I was always the whipping boy for the problems he was having but after years of protecting and trying to "fix" him, I decided that I would never let him put his hands on me again without police intervention. But it's still no way to live. The fact that he so violently and brutally attacked your daughter is appalling and as hard as it is (the hardest thing I have EVER had to do) you can NOT let him live with you again. The potential for murder is too great. You need peace of mind -not that you will find it easy, knowing your son is not "safe" in your house-but you need to know that he will not ever be able to threaten and carry out his threats against you and your loved ones. I truly understand how you feel and it's incredibly stressful. My son ended up going to a Mission where he was clean, sober, responsible and loving (the young man I USED to know!) for 8 months. Iwas full of hope and joy. As soon as he graduated from the program, he went back out and began everything he had always done to get himself in trouble in the first place. I took him to Colorado in June of last year (I have a thread about it on here-don't know how to do the link, sorry) and he had a mixed bag of good and bad experiences. He was homeless, but survived, met a girl and was planning to marry her. Told me about this in November. A week later I got a call from the county jail-he was arrested for trying to STRANGLE HER and is now facing a possible 5-16 year PRISON sentence. I'm just realizing that my story is not very encouraging to you and I apologise-not to say that any of this will happen to YOUR son, but if someone has those kind of violent tendencies, I don't believe they will change and you MUST PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR LOVED ONES from the danger. He is going to be who he is. Of course he won't like having nowhere to go but there are places available and believe me you do NOT want to be the outlet for his rage. Try to get as far away from him as possible so that you don't live in fear of him dropping by unexpectedly and with a dangerous agenda on his mind (I used to fear that too and moved to an apartment and never told him where I lived). I do hope I haven't hijacked your thread-I will start my own about my current fears, but just wanted to show support for you and your daughter-I can't even imagine the pain and terror SHE is feeling! And to let you know that without therapy and courage (if I do say so myself) I would NEVER have distanced myself from my son and would probably be dead by now. I wish you all the strength and love I can-this is SO hard, but you and your daughter cannot live in this kind of fear-he is doing what he wants and there must be far reaching consequences for his actions. [/QUOTE]
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26 year old son beat up my 30 year old daughter
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