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26 year old stepson stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 615204" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Huff, abused parents go through the same steps as they recover that people who have lived with an abusive partner go through as they recover. The first step is to realize that what has been happening to you is abuse. I think you are beginning to see abusive patterns in your interactions with this stepson.</p><p></p><p>That you could have defended yourself from your stepson is not the point. Had you defended yourself in any way, your wife would have been upset AND YOUR STEPSON KNOWS THIS AND USES IT TO MANIPULATE YOU AND THE SITUATION.</p><p></p><p>If you keep posting Huff, if you continue to read the crazy, horrible situations everyone here on the site has found him or herself in with their teen or adult kids, you will begin to see your own situation more clearly, too. Our stories are so similar, at the heart of them. </p><p></p><p>You did right in taking the lead on stepson finding work to hold him over until the job he wanted comes open. It had been six weeks. It was right and appropriate for you to bring it up. The only reason any parent would not bring up the subject of his adult child finding work is because the parent is afraid of the adult child's reaction and punishment for the parent from the adult child's mother. Do you see the manipulation there, Huff? The stepson was just waiting, just lying in wait, for you to dare broach the topic of him finding work.</p><p></p><p>And the upshot was just as the stepson hoped it would be. Mama stepped in, and you were made the villain of the piece because stepson was so upset and angry.</p><p></p><p>What you did Huff, was tell an adult male living in your home to look for work. Perfectly honorable thing to do. A father who did not teach a son the value of work would be remiss.</p><p></p><p>That your stepson threatened to hit you was, in my opinion, the first step toward seeing whether he can get away with actually hitting you, pretty much at will.</p><p></p><p>In my opinion, that is what was coming next, had the stepson continued to live with you.</p><p></p><p>**********************</p><p></p><p>We found difficult child behavior escalated around any holiday, around any special event. I don't know whether it was the holiday / special event, or whether it was that the difficult child was</p><p>1) awake and out of their room for a change during the holiday / event</p><p>2) actually speaking to other family members during the holiday / event</p><p></p><p>Given the manipulation I see in your stepson's behavior from the few things you have told us, I would say your stepson made every effort to draw attention away from the special time that was planned and onto himself.</p><p></p><p>(Huff? My vision is like, 20/20 where other people's kids are concerned. But I'm blind as a bat to the manipulations of my own kids to this day.)</p><p></p><p>Ahem.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 615204, member: 17461"] Huff, abused parents go through the same steps as they recover that people who have lived with an abusive partner go through as they recover. The first step is to realize that what has been happening to you is abuse. I think you are beginning to see abusive patterns in your interactions with this stepson. That you could have defended yourself from your stepson is not the point. Had you defended yourself in any way, your wife would have been upset AND YOUR STEPSON KNOWS THIS AND USES IT TO MANIPULATE YOU AND THE SITUATION. If you keep posting Huff, if you continue to read the crazy, horrible situations everyone here on the site has found him or herself in with their teen or adult kids, you will begin to see your own situation more clearly, too. Our stories are so similar, at the heart of them. You did right in taking the lead on stepson finding work to hold him over until the job he wanted comes open. It had been six weeks. It was right and appropriate for you to bring it up. The only reason any parent would not bring up the subject of his adult child finding work is because the parent is afraid of the adult child's reaction and punishment for the parent from the adult child's mother. Do you see the manipulation there, Huff? The stepson was just waiting, just lying in wait, for you to dare broach the topic of him finding work. And the upshot was just as the stepson hoped it would be. Mama stepped in, and you were made the villain of the piece because stepson was so upset and angry. What you did Huff, was tell an adult male living in your home to look for work. Perfectly honorable thing to do. A father who did not teach a son the value of work would be remiss. That your stepson threatened to hit you was, in my opinion, the first step toward seeing whether he can get away with actually hitting you, pretty much at will. In my opinion, that is what was coming next, had the stepson continued to live with you. ********************** We found difficult child behavior escalated around any holiday, around any special event. I don't know whether it was the holiday / special event, or whether it was that the difficult child was 1) awake and out of their room for a change during the holiday / event 2) actually speaking to other family members during the holiday / event Given the manipulation I see in your stepson's behavior from the few things you have told us, I would say your stepson made every effort to draw attention away from the special time that was planned and onto himself. (Huff? My vision is like, 20/20 where other people's kids are concerned. But I'm blind as a bat to the manipulations of my own kids to this day.) Ahem. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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26 year old stepson stealing
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