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26 year old stepson stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 615409" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>No. You did the right thing. You can't control her reaction, and trying to manipulate the timing is just trying to control her. Secrets are toxic...that has been one of the healthiest lessons I have learned both with difficult child and ex husband (I throw that part in since I know you are working out being an ex yourself). </p><p>Keeping it from her is demeaning to her, and toxic to you. She would have flown off the handle after the holidays too, and you would have felt bad then too. It MIGHT have given her the excuse of "oh well that is so long ago now there is no point in addressing it" or it might have felt worse to her to be living a lie with difficult child (happy ignorant Christmas...I HATE the memories of times when I was happy and ignorant, only to find out later that STUFF was going on all around me...all the pictures of events like that, with my dumb cheerful smile, are ruined for me..) let her live in the real world and learn how to be in it. Or not. You can't control her reactions....say that to yourself over and over.</p><p>You were robbed, and deliberately so....he didn't even just take out of desperation, he steered his friends to the "free gas" too! You are taking it to a place of somehow feeling bad about it yourself. Don't do that. It will give you ulcers. It is difficult child who is doing the damage, not you. You are a good guy, with a healthy loving heart, don't compromise that. Remember who you are.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 615409, member: 17269"] No. You did the right thing. You can't control her reaction, and trying to manipulate the timing is just trying to control her. Secrets are toxic...that has been one of the healthiest lessons I have learned both with difficult child and ex husband (I throw that part in since I know you are working out being an ex yourself). Keeping it from her is demeaning to her, and toxic to you. She would have flown off the handle after the holidays too, and you would have felt bad then too. It MIGHT have given her the excuse of "oh well that is so long ago now there is no point in addressing it" or it might have felt worse to her to be living a lie with difficult child (happy ignorant Christmas...I HATE the memories of times when I was happy and ignorant, only to find out later that STUFF was going on all around me...all the pictures of events like that, with my dumb cheerful smile, are ruined for me..) let her live in the real world and learn how to be in it. Or not. You can't control her reactions....say that to yourself over and over. You were robbed, and deliberately so....he didn't even just take out of desperation, he steered his friends to the "free gas" too! You are taking it to a place of somehow feeling bad about it yourself. Don't do that. It will give you ulcers. It is difficult child who is doing the damage, not you. You are a good guy, with a healthy loving heart, don't compromise that. Remember who you are. [/QUOTE]
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26 year old stepson stealing
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