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26 yrs old son.anxiety/worried/many cluster B/ short version.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 764626" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You call this processing. I think when we go over and over and over the past, it's called self-torture. The whys don't matter, and sometimes, most of the time can never be known. A lot of the time it's trying to find who to blame, and it's usually ourselves. Somebody I know call this the merry-go-round, and we need to get off or we'll keep going round and round and round. The only way out is to jump to a new neuropathway.</p><p></p><p>Again, I believe this thinking only leads to heartache. I believe him that he loves you. But take your pick: A, he does not love himself. B. He doesn't know how to live yet, C, he's lacking in self-knowledge or knowledge of relationships and life, D. He's an idiot. I was an idiot too. Now, I am not.</p><p></p><p>Staying in the present.</p><p></p><p>I have a son. I have a complicated relationship with hope. I try to have hope because hope is mine to have. I can choose to have hope, independent of what my son does or does not do. My hope is not linked to him. It's in me. My son is responsible to have and to make his hope.</p><p></p><p>Our situation is unique. My son is adopted. He lived his first 22 months apart from me. We were fine until he was in his teens, and really, only in his early twenties when he had to become independent and autonomous did I see we were heading for rough waters. I did everything in the world I could think of to do over and over. None of it worked. Until I accepted that he and I are separate people and that he has one hundred percent power and control and the right to live the life he wants to live and can live. I have no vote.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 764626, member: 18958"] You call this processing. I think when we go over and over and over the past, it's called self-torture. The whys don't matter, and sometimes, most of the time can never be known. A lot of the time it's trying to find who to blame, and it's usually ourselves. Somebody I know call this the merry-go-round, and we need to get off or we'll keep going round and round and round. The only way out is to jump to a new neuropathway. Again, I believe this thinking only leads to heartache. I believe him that he loves you. But take your pick: A, he does not love himself. B. He doesn't know how to live yet, C, he's lacking in self-knowledge or knowledge of relationships and life, D. He's an idiot. I was an idiot too. Now, I am not. Staying in the present. I have a son. I have a complicated relationship with hope. I try to have hope because hope is mine to have. I can choose to have hope, independent of what my son does or does not do. My hope is not linked to him. It's in me. My son is responsible to have and to make his hope. Our situation is unique. My son is adopted. He lived his first 22 months apart from me. We were fine until he was in his teens, and really, only in his early twenties when he had to become independent and autonomous did I see we were heading for rough waters. I did everything in the world I could think of to do over and over. None of it worked. Until I accepted that he and I are separate people and that he has one hundred percent power and control and the right to live the life he wants to live and can live. I have no vote. [/QUOTE]
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26 yrs old son.anxiety/worried/many cluster B/ short version.
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