Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
29 Year Old Son Sucking the Life Out of Me
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="JMom" data-source="post: 761334" data-attributes="member: 19892"><p>MomFedUp & Skool Teacher,</p><p></p><p>I was also a single mom when J was little. Detaching with love (my way)...I apologized to J for my shortcomings as a mother. My shortcomings were moving often (he had to change schools), living in high-crime neighborhoods, and not being strict enough because I felt guilty that he didn't have a dad. I left his dad because he was abusive. He didn't know why I left, he was just a baby.</p><p></p><p>I told him that I did the best I could and that one day, God willing, he will have a chance to parent and get it right. After I apologized, I told him that I didn't raise him to do drugs, steal and lie. I told him that those were not my values. I said that I don't live my life that way because I don't like the consequences. I said I love you and need to take a break because I have been lying for you, fighting with your step-dad, taking time away from your sisters when I focus on your self-destruction. I need to focus on myself and be kinder to myself. I'd like you to respect my boundary, and I will call you when I am ready to talk. He was homeless at this time. I gave him a gift card to a restaurant, a burner phone with call minutes on it, and walked away.</p><p></p><p>It took me two weeks to find myself again. I ate, I showered, I called friends that I had lost touch with, I reconnected with my husband and daughters. I apologized to them for being wrapped up in J's addiction. I called J and thanked him for giving me space. I told him we will; be happy to see him when he is ready to be sober. It took 8 months on the streets and he returned to us, sober. There was lots of messiness in the mix. It was by no means a fairytale, but I detached with love. I took back the life that I earned, the one I worked for.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you are in the throws of wanting to detach but being bound by guilt. I think we all have areas we could have improved in as parents, but I don't think it's fair for you to take the blame. Sometimes our kids are just being A-holes.</p><p></p><p>Love,</p><p>JMOM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JMom, post: 761334, member: 19892"] MomFedUp & Skool Teacher, I was also a single mom when J was little. Detaching with love (my way)...I apologized to J for my shortcomings as a mother. My shortcomings were moving often (he had to change schools), living in high-crime neighborhoods, and not being strict enough because I felt guilty that he didn't have a dad. I left his dad because he was abusive. He didn't know why I left, he was just a baby. I told him that I did the best I could and that one day, God willing, he will have a chance to parent and get it right. After I apologized, I told him that I didn't raise him to do drugs, steal and lie. I told him that those were not my values. I said that I don't live my life that way because I don't like the consequences. I said I love you and need to take a break because I have been lying for you, fighting with your step-dad, taking time away from your sisters when I focus on your self-destruction. I need to focus on myself and be kinder to myself. I'd like you to respect my boundary, and I will call you when I am ready to talk. He was homeless at this time. I gave him a gift card to a restaurant, a burner phone with call minutes on it, and walked away. It took me two weeks to find myself again. I ate, I showered, I called friends that I had lost touch with, I reconnected with my husband and daughters. I apologized to them for being wrapped up in J's addiction. I called J and thanked him for giving me space. I told him we will; be happy to see him when he is ready to be sober. It took 8 months on the streets and he returned to us, sober. There was lots of messiness in the mix. It was by no means a fairytale, but I detached with love. I took back the life that I earned, the one I worked for. It sounds like you are in the throws of wanting to detach but being bound by guilt. I think we all have areas we could have improved in as parents, but I don't think it's fair for you to take the blame. Sometimes our kids are just being A-holes. Love, JMOM [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
29 Year Old Son Sucking the Life Out of Me
Top