29 yrs old son who has been homeless, diagnosed with chronic illnesses

[Laurie Heller]

My son is 27 years old. I have always said I would never give up hope, but I think I am coming to realize that I can't give him hope, he has to find it. I have spent years trying to "help" him. I live in Florida and recently sent him to Texas to yet another program. He lasts for about 4 days to a week, and then leaves any program I have sent him to. He has been in and out of jail and just got out of prison a few months ago. I live with guilt trying to do the tough love thing. I feel like it's my fault that he's messed up. He has bipolar disorder and drug addiction. He tells me he wants to live on the street and I just need to understand. Problem is that his "homelessness" costs me big money. He begs me for money and there's always a story behind it. I feel like I am out of control with trying to save him. I have put over $6k on my credit cards since November and that doesn't include all the cash I have spent on him. I need to stop before I lose everything, including my marriage. I love my son and my heart hurts to no end. I feel so unbelievably alone and hopeless. I wish I knew how to handle this, but I don't. I want him to be able to tell me what will make him better but I don't think he even knows at this point. 27 years old and he has never worked. He sponges off of me and any one he can get to help him. If he doesn't get help, he takes it. Which is why he went to prison. I pray for him and for my sanity. He is driving me nuts! I love my son and always will but I just need to get off this crazy ride he has me on. I don't feel like things will ever get better. Not sure what to do any more.

I have a 29 yrs old son who has been homeless, diagnosed with chronic illnesses, will not take medications and it mentally has taken a toll. He will not get help. He is showing symptoms of paranoia about things he cannot control. I am lost as he is beleiving G-d is going to get him out of this and refuses western medicine and mindfuu or therapeutic help. I am watching him wither away yet he has a confidence that confuses me. Everythimg I have done has not worked and when i have strength to distant myself I get a comment or critisized that i am his mother and how dare i distance self. I feel so alone and so scared for him. This is going on for 10 years since he came back from India and diagnosed with uc and now chronic lyme disease

 

[Acacia]

L, you may want to start a new post for yourself since your post is attached to an old one. You can read how to do that on the home page. You will get great feedback and support.

Our difficult children do put us into a FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt), but there is a way out. I have been dealing with my difficult children for 15 years, but I am learning how to detach. One thing I learned. Our suffering for our children doesn't fix anything, and it robs us of our own lives.

 

[Copabanana]

Welcome Laurie.

We share stories. My 29 year old also has an illness, does not comply with treatment and I fear. Right now he is sleeping on a porch.

I encourage you to start your own thread. I will write to runaway bunny the site admin and she will help you.

If you are using your own name you might change it to protect your anonymity. I will write more later. You are not alone.