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Parent Emeritus
3 months in....and drama?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 639960" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I agree with MWM. They put feelers out all over the place and something likely showed up that was a better deal for instant gratification. Remember, one thing they cannot do is delay gratification and wait, so they frantically send out SOS's to everyone and when someone bites, then you go overboard until the next time he needs some immediate money or a place to land. </p><p></p><p>I would forget the apartment idea and when he texts you, wait, don't respond immediately. I found that when I did that, other opportunities sprung out and my own difficult child would go in another direction. I read a book at the time which suggested I "refrain" take no action, wait. So I did that. Over time those frantic, desperate, intended to invoke guilt phone calls ceased to be.</p><p></p><p>I know it's hard, but look at it like you are retraining your son to respond differently as you respond differently. Usually, in the beginning, they resort to severe guilt trips on us, but over time, they usually learn and begin to find their own way. Which may not look anything like what YOU would do, but that's okay because it's not your life, it's his.</p><p></p><p>Take care of you. Focus on you. Begin to step back from the edge, stop looking down at the wide abyss between where you stand and where your son stands..........turn in a different direction and keep walking. </p><p></p><p>Stay the course, you're doing great........Growing up<em><u> is</u></em> hard, which is why he has to find his own way without using you each time he hits a wall. That's how he will learn to be resourceful and strong. That's how we all learn.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 639960, member: 13542"] I agree with MWM. They put feelers out all over the place and something likely showed up that was a better deal for instant gratification. Remember, one thing they cannot do is delay gratification and wait, so they frantically send out SOS's to everyone and when someone bites, then you go overboard until the next time he needs some immediate money or a place to land. I would forget the apartment idea and when he texts you, wait, don't respond immediately. I found that when I did that, other opportunities sprung out and my own difficult child would go in another direction. I read a book at the time which suggested I "refrain" take no action, wait. So I did that. Over time those frantic, desperate, intended to invoke guilt phone calls ceased to be. I know it's hard, but look at it like you are retraining your son to respond differently as you respond differently. Usually, in the beginning, they resort to severe guilt trips on us, but over time, they usually learn and begin to find their own way. Which may not look anything like what YOU would do, but that's okay because it's not your life, it's his. Take care of you. Focus on you. Begin to step back from the edge, stop looking down at the wide abyss between where you stand and where your son stands..........turn in a different direction and keep walking. Stay the course, you're doing great........Growing up[I][U] is[/U][/I] hard, which is why he has to find his own way without using you each time he hits a wall. That's how he will learn to be resourceful and strong. That's how we all learn. [/QUOTE]
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3 months in....and drama?
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