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3 months in....and drama?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 640005" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Sweetmama,</p><p>I have been where you are. When my difficult child was 25 he was finishing up a 2 year sentence. While he was in jail my husband and I moved from CO to the Midwest to care for aging parents. When my difficult child was released I flew out to CO to get him, brought him back here. I told him we are starting with a clean slate. My husband and I purchased a small house for him to live in (no way was he going to live with us) and we purchased clothes, food and got him a cell phone. We told him all we expected was that he find a job and start working on being a productive member of society, that we were there to help him. We have helped in this fashion many times before also so I went into this with eyes wide open.</p><p>During this time he met a really lovely girl, got pregnant, got married, worked for a while, quit that job because the boss is stupid, get another job, quit that one because the boss it stupid, have another baby and when baby was 3 months old wife found out he was looking for women online to hook up with. He left and has never been there for his kids, no financial support, no emotional support. When my granddaughter had to have surgery he was no where to be found.</p><p>Since that time he has been back in jail a few times.</p><p>A few weeks ago he surfaced on FB complaining about being homeless. He called and left me a message wanting me to contact my sister who is a retired RN thinking she could get him some antibiotics for his leg. I replied back to him "I am really sorry to hear you are having a tough time. If your leg is that bad you need to get to an ER as your aunt does not have antibiotics on hand"</p><p>It's not that I don't love my difficult child but I will not get sucked back into his drama. He has made his choice to live the life he's living. I can't tell you how many times I heard the same thing, "I've changed, I know better now, things will be different, etc............"</p><p>All I can tell you are actions speak louder than words. If our difficult child's really have changed then they will figure it out for themselves how to get off the streets.</p><p>I saw this posted on FB and while it made me laugh, there is also truth in it.</p><p>NOT MY MONKEY'S, NOT MY CIRCUS.</p><p>My difficult child is now 33, I will always have hope that he will someday turn his life around but I will no longer hold my breath waiting for that to happen.</p><p>I agree with MWM advice and like how she "roll played" a conversation.</p><p>Wishing you all the best!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 640005, member: 18516"] Hi Sweetmama, I have been where you are. When my difficult child was 25 he was finishing up a 2 year sentence. While he was in jail my husband and I moved from CO to the Midwest to care for aging parents. When my difficult child was released I flew out to CO to get him, brought him back here. I told him we are starting with a clean slate. My husband and I purchased a small house for him to live in (no way was he going to live with us) and we purchased clothes, food and got him a cell phone. We told him all we expected was that he find a job and start working on being a productive member of society, that we were there to help him. We have helped in this fashion many times before also so I went into this with eyes wide open. During this time he met a really lovely girl, got pregnant, got married, worked for a while, quit that job because the boss is stupid, get another job, quit that one because the boss it stupid, have another baby and when baby was 3 months old wife found out he was looking for women online to hook up with. He left and has never been there for his kids, no financial support, no emotional support. When my granddaughter had to have surgery he was no where to be found. Since that time he has been back in jail a few times. A few weeks ago he surfaced on FB complaining about being homeless. He called and left me a message wanting me to contact my sister who is a retired RN thinking she could get him some antibiotics for his leg. I replied back to him "I am really sorry to hear you are having a tough time. If your leg is that bad you need to get to an ER as your aunt does not have antibiotics on hand" It's not that I don't love my difficult child but I will not get sucked back into his drama. He has made his choice to live the life he's living. I can't tell you how many times I heard the same thing, "I've changed, I know better now, things will be different, etc............" All I can tell you are actions speak louder than words. If our difficult child's really have changed then they will figure it out for themselves how to get off the streets. I saw this posted on FB and while it made me laugh, there is also truth in it. NOT MY MONKEY'S, NOT MY CIRCUS. My difficult child is now 33, I will always have hope that he will someday turn his life around but I will no longer hold my breath waiting for that to happen. I agree with MWM advice and like how she "roll played" a conversation. Wishing you all the best!! [/QUOTE]
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