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30 Year Old BiPolar Daughter Going Downhill (again)
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<blockquote data-quote="Denise2017" data-source="post: 713794" data-attributes="member: 21870"><p>Hi Mcdonna and everyone. Mcdonna thank you for your kind letter. I have not been here for a while either. I was basically avoiding my 30-year-old bipolar daughter and then today the phone rang. I keep my phone turned off at all times and usually face down just not to see her calling. She does not call often but when she does it is never good. But I picked it up today because we had been texting a little bit and I guess I was hopeful. I should have known better, she is about to break up with her current boyfriend and she is looking for a place to live.</p><p></p><p>She has not done anything particularly difficult recently, but she has threatened us many times emotionally and once physically in the past. I am 66 and just don't feel like I can survive the drama of living with her.</p><p></p><p>She has burned most of her bridges and has no place to go.</p><p></p><p>She has a father, but he has been through this drama many times too and I am not sure that he will take her in. He is more in touch with her than I am. They tend to get along better than she and I. I feel selfish contacting him to satisfy my need to know if she is ok.</p><p></p><p>All of the good advice I have gotten from the site, a therapist, my husband, my other daughter is not to take her in. She is very manipulative.</p><p></p><p>I have left a bad marriage and survived an abusive mother, but "abandoning" this difficult child is much harder.</p><p></p><p>I have read through the advice again, but I am new on this journey. I do not feel like a good person or a good mother. I can not relax not knowing how she is doing. But I also can not live with her.</p><p></p><p>Some of the wise words I've been given...</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">This is a necessary loss.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">It's one of those things I had to breathe through.......and then make a difficult, new choice.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I only exist when she needs something</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">She will want you to put everything aside and give, give, give to her</li> </ul><p></p><p>I thank you all for your support and advice. This is very hard and I hope that I am doing the right thing but uninvolving myself...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Denise2017, post: 713794, member: 21870"] Hi Mcdonna and everyone. Mcdonna thank you for your kind letter. I have not been here for a while either. I was basically avoiding my 30-year-old bipolar daughter and then today the phone rang. I keep my phone turned off at all times and usually face down just not to see her calling. She does not call often but when she does it is never good. But I picked it up today because we had been texting a little bit and I guess I was hopeful. I should have known better, she is about to break up with her current boyfriend and she is looking for a place to live. She has not done anything particularly difficult recently, but she has threatened us many times emotionally and once physically in the past. I am 66 and just don't feel like I can survive the drama of living with her. She has burned most of her bridges and has no place to go. She has a father, but he has been through this drama many times too and I am not sure that he will take her in. He is more in touch with her than I am. They tend to get along better than she and I. I feel selfish contacting him to satisfy my need to know if she is ok. All of the good advice I have gotten from the site, a therapist, my husband, my other daughter is not to take her in. She is very manipulative. I have left a bad marriage and survived an abusive mother, but "abandoning" this difficult child is much harder. I have read through the advice again, but I am new on this journey. I do not feel like a good person or a good mother. I can not relax not knowing how she is doing. But I also can not live with her. Some of the wise words I've been given... [LIST] [*]This is a necessary loss. [*]It's one of those things I had to breathe through.......and then make a difficult, new choice. [*]I only exist when she needs something [*]She will want you to put everything aside and give, give, give to her [/LIST] I thank you all for your support and advice. This is very hard and I hope that I am doing the right thing but uninvolving myself... [/QUOTE]
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