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34 year old son is killing my soul
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<blockquote data-quote="beebz" data-source="post: 746722" data-attributes="member: 23451"><p>One thing that has me insane, and I mean insane is the stories. They are so meticulous, so perfect, so believable, artistic, mastermind manipulation. I already know, "if their lips are moving they're lying" -</p><p>The stories go on for decades. 2 decades. Is he schizophrenic ? The lies.</p><p></p><p>I don't want anyone to misunderstand this: Bin Laden, the monster who took my buildings, the World Trade Centers; to pull off the operation he did, he as a mastermind, brilliant. What he did was a brilliant plan. That doesn't mean it/he is good. He is a monster. But the mind, my sons mind in good and bad is absolutely brilliant. This has GOT to be a disease. No one wants to live like this. They really don't.</p><p></p><p>Because of so much abuse and even beatings in the head I tend to wander in my writing but I write anyway. When the police told them to park in my driveway, it was the first time I had seen my daughter in law. She might be 80 lbs. I did go upstairs, put my glasses on, grab her chin (lucky she didn't beat me again) and look at her face for a moment in time. Then walked out to let them poor girls see their parents. I did it for the girls. I was looking at her closely because "rumors" are that she had sores all over her face, must be on meth, but no, no sores, just no meat and no soul. </p><p></p><p>Their are stories in my head, most of which I believed that have scarred me for life. My mind doesn't even feel right. 2 decades of manipulation. I need mercy, I really do. I guess I just can't believe this is my life. Its not just having a drug addict son who is homeless, there is so much more that goes with it. My life should be a 6 part mini series where I gross 100 million. But, my soul looks into my puppies eyes and that is my reward to make me laugh, and letting my grand-daughters play in my "real" makeup. This weekend I let them have ice cream for breakfast. That might have been wrong, but these are also girls who sit with me and eat entire heads of cauliflower and broccoli so its all good lol</p><p></p><p>Our people, our country, our society does not take care of its mentally ill. It doesn't. I believe my son is mentally ill. I once told my husband, in 1960's non-politically correct language, if he is retarded, it is our job to take care of him. He is sick in the head. Does that mean anything at all? Does that diminish the fact that he is a human being? Lord I hurt so bad ......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="beebz, post: 746722, member: 23451"] One thing that has me insane, and I mean insane is the stories. They are so meticulous, so perfect, so believable, artistic, mastermind manipulation. I already know, "if their lips are moving they're lying" - The stories go on for decades. 2 decades. Is he schizophrenic ? The lies. I don't want anyone to misunderstand this: Bin Laden, the monster who took my buildings, the World Trade Centers; to pull off the operation he did, he as a mastermind, brilliant. What he did was a brilliant plan. That doesn't mean it/he is good. He is a monster. But the mind, my sons mind in good and bad is absolutely brilliant. This has GOT to be a disease. No one wants to live like this. They really don't. Because of so much abuse and even beatings in the head I tend to wander in my writing but I write anyway. When the police told them to park in my driveway, it was the first time I had seen my daughter in law. She might be 80 lbs. I did go upstairs, put my glasses on, grab her chin (lucky she didn't beat me again) and look at her face for a moment in time. Then walked out to let them poor girls see their parents. I did it for the girls. I was looking at her closely because "rumors" are that she had sores all over her face, must be on meth, but no, no sores, just no meat and no soul. Their are stories in my head, most of which I believed that have scarred me for life. My mind doesn't even feel right. 2 decades of manipulation. I need mercy, I really do. I guess I just can't believe this is my life. Its not just having a drug addict son who is homeless, there is so much more that goes with it. My life should be a 6 part mini series where I gross 100 million. But, my soul looks into my puppies eyes and that is my reward to make me laugh, and letting my grand-daughters play in my "real" makeup. This weekend I let them have ice cream for breakfast. That might have been wrong, but these are also girls who sit with me and eat entire heads of cauliflower and broccoli so its all good lol Our people, our country, our society does not take care of its mentally ill. It doesn't. I believe my son is mentally ill. I once told my husband, in 1960's non-politically correct language, if he is retarded, it is our job to take care of him. He is sick in the head. Does that mean anything at all? Does that diminish the fact that he is a human being? Lord I hurt so bad ...... [/QUOTE]
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