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34 year old son is killing my soul
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 748486" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Oh dear one, I'm so sorry for the deep pain you are experiencing. I wish I could tell you some magic words that would help but there just are not any. This is a journey that can suck the life force right out of us if we let it. IF WE LET IT. </p><p>We all have free will and choose every day how we will live our lives. Sadly, your son has chosen a life of drugs over his family. This does not mean that he cannot change, he can, but he has to want it bad enough to do the hard work to make the changes that will benefit him. The drugs have a strong hold on those who use them. The drugs whisper lies into their ears. </p><p></p><p>What helped me the most in detaching from my son was to stop seeing him as my "little boy" and to start really seeing him for the adult man he has become. The adult who chooses homelessness and drugs over his own children and parents. I had to truly accept that I could not rescue my son. I also had to accept the very worst scenario that would play out in my mind - that he could be dead and I would never know. That was a real fear for me but I had to choose not to let it overcome and paralyze me. </p><p></p><p>We the parents of these difficult adult children have our own lives to live and we should be doing just that. I will never allow my son to hold my emotions hostage again. I have made the choice to live my life to the very fullest and to be happy. I will always love my son but he has made his life what it is and it's a life that I cannot be part of as it's a toxic life.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are under a Dr.s care for your mental health. Please be very good to yourself. </p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you...................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 748486, member: 18516"] Oh dear one, I'm so sorry for the deep pain you are experiencing. I wish I could tell you some magic words that would help but there just are not any. This is a journey that can suck the life force right out of us if we let it. IF WE LET IT. We all have free will and choose every day how we will live our lives. Sadly, your son has chosen a life of drugs over his family. This does not mean that he cannot change, he can, but he has to want it bad enough to do the hard work to make the changes that will benefit him. The drugs have a strong hold on those who use them. The drugs whisper lies into their ears. What helped me the most in detaching from my son was to stop seeing him as my "little boy" and to start really seeing him for the adult man he has become. The adult who chooses homelessness and drugs over his own children and parents. I had to truly accept that I could not rescue my son. I also had to accept the very worst scenario that would play out in my mind - that he could be dead and I would never know. That was a real fear for me but I had to choose not to let it overcome and paralyze me. We the parents of these difficult adult children have our own lives to live and we should be doing just that. I will never allow my son to hold my emotions hostage again. I have made the choice to live my life to the very fullest and to be happy. I will always love my son but he has made his life what it is and it's a life that I cannot be part of as it's a toxic life. I'm glad you are under a Dr.s care for your mental health. Please be very good to yourself. ((HUGS)) to you................... [/QUOTE]
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34 year old son is killing my soul
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