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34 year old son is killing my soul
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 753729" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Beebz</p><p></p><p>I’m so sorry for all you’ve had to endure. Just reading your post made me feel like I’m not sure how you even get through your day. </p><p></p><p>It’s bad enough as an adult your heart gets ripped out regularly but it’s just not fair for the grands. It’s a two edged sword. They want to see him but the havoc to their hearts is too much. I agree limiting your sons visits is imperative for everyone’s well being. That’s what detachment with love is all about. </p><p></p><p>I get it completely. You just want him to step up to the plate and get it together. </p><p>Easier said than done but YOU must be the change in the situation. You’ve begun that by setting a boundary with him. Stick to it. It is so so very hard at first. For me at times it felt like going back to the old ways was easier than forging through the difficult boundaries I had to set. But it’s not. </p><p>Maybe the fact that he’ll get to spend less time with his kids will help motivate him to make some changes. When he’s able to visit without any discomfort to himself, what’s his motivation? </p><p>The way I see it is so far he’s made no changes so it’s up to you to be the change. </p><p>Sending prayers and hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 753729, member: 23405"] Beebz I’m so sorry for all you’ve had to endure. Just reading your post made me feel like I’m not sure how you even get through your day. It’s bad enough as an adult your heart gets ripped out regularly but it’s just not fair for the grands. It’s a two edged sword. They want to see him but the havoc to their hearts is too much. I agree limiting your sons visits is imperative for everyone’s well being. That’s what detachment with love is all about. I get it completely. You just want him to step up to the plate and get it together. Easier said than done but YOU must be the change in the situation. You’ve begun that by setting a boundary with him. Stick to it. It is so so very hard at first. For me at times it felt like going back to the old ways was easier than forging through the difficult boundaries I had to set. But it’s not. Maybe the fact that he’ll get to spend less time with his kids will help motivate him to make some changes. When he’s able to visit without any discomfort to himself, what’s his motivation? The way I see it is so far he’s made no changes so it’s up to you to be the change. Sending prayers and hugs. [/QUOTE]
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34 year old son is killing my soul
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