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34 year old son is killing my soul
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 754182" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Beebz</p><p></p><p>My heart goes out to you. I feel you did the right thing though. You finally told him how you felt. We so often are walking on egg shells with them. We feel so bad for their unfortunate circumstances. We worry they are cold, sick, hungry and lonely. They know a mother’s heart and they play us like a fiddle.</p><p></p><p>They very rarely if ever consider what we are going through and we excuse it because we feel their burden is worst than ours. In fact we don’t even want them to worry about us because we don’t want to add more to their misery. </p><p></p><p>I think when we first start and stick to our boundaries they are shocked and can’t believe we’ll stick to them. They’re so used to being able to manipulate us. </p><p></p><p>It is hard turning them down when they ask for help and thinking of them cold, hungry, wet or tired can send us into a funk. </p><p></p><p>It’s really helped me to remember that we can choose our thoughts and that fear is not an emotion but rather a spirit. We need to say positive thoughts and the positive things we say to ourselves will slowly replace the negative fears. Trying to force ourselves to not think of them only puts more focus on them again. Try to write down some go to good thoughts you can say over and over to yourself when you start to feel yourself slipping into the funk. Little by little and with loving detachment for your own self care you will get stronger. </p><p></p><p>It will never be perfect but all we can strive for is for us to be the change and continue to pray for our adult children and never give up hope. </p><p></p><p>Sending hugs and prayers</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 754182, member: 23405"] Beebz My heart goes out to you. I feel you did the right thing though. You finally told him how you felt. We so often are walking on egg shells with them. We feel so bad for their unfortunate circumstances. We worry they are cold, sick, hungry and lonely. They know a mother’s heart and they play us like a fiddle. They very rarely if ever consider what we are going through and we excuse it because we feel their burden is worst than ours. In fact we don’t even want them to worry about us because we don’t want to add more to their misery. I think when we first start and stick to our boundaries they are shocked and can’t believe we’ll stick to them. They’re so used to being able to manipulate us. It is hard turning them down when they ask for help and thinking of them cold, hungry, wet or tired can send us into a funk. It’s really helped me to remember that we can choose our thoughts and that fear is not an emotion but rather a spirit. We need to say positive thoughts and the positive things we say to ourselves will slowly replace the negative fears. Trying to force ourselves to not think of them only puts more focus on them again. Try to write down some go to good thoughts you can say over and over to yourself when you start to feel yourself slipping into the funk. Little by little and with loving detachment for your own self care you will get stronger. It will never be perfect but all we can strive for is for us to be the change and continue to pray for our adult children and never give up hope. Sending hugs and prayers [/QUOTE]
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34 year old son is killing my soul
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