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34 year old son is killing my soul
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 754194" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>It sounds like you are letting your anger carry you more so than your sadness , and that feels better. Anger holds a lot of power in it when we use it as it was intended to . And you did that. You told him the truth. And he knows it . It is honestly the best thing you can do for him. He has to come to the end of himself. He has to hit bottom, be out of options for him to surrender. Surrender to the fact that he is an addict, that he is powerless over alcohol and drugs and that he can have a better life if he wants it. The rooms of AA and NA are full of people like your son who have chosen a better life and who have stayed clean for decades. I know many people with well over 30 years clean. So you gave your son the best gift you could have given him: honesty, love , and a power of example how to take care of oneself. </p><p></p><p>Putting ourselves first is NOT selfish. It is humble. It is being in a Higher Power's will. NOBODY is going to take care of us . It is our job. The Higher Power handles the big stuff and I get to handle the day by day taking care of me stuff. And if the addict does that, they break free from their dependence on a substance, other people, things outside of themselves that don't amount to anything. The substance is just a placeholder for the love and light that we are scared to connect with. </p><p></p><p>You are doing so much caring for your grands, putting one foot in front of the other, surviving. Good for you to set a boundary, put yourself first, allow yourself the feelings of sadness for the son in whom you will always see so much potential and hope. You are a strong woman modelling for your son and your grands how it is done. </p><p></p><p>Much love and Christmas blessings to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 754194, member: 24254"] It sounds like you are letting your anger carry you more so than your sadness , and that feels better. Anger holds a lot of power in it when we use it as it was intended to . And you did that. You told him the truth. And he knows it . It is honestly the best thing you can do for him. He has to come to the end of himself. He has to hit bottom, be out of options for him to surrender. Surrender to the fact that he is an addict, that he is powerless over alcohol and drugs and that he can have a better life if he wants it. The rooms of AA and NA are full of people like your son who have chosen a better life and who have stayed clean for decades. I know many people with well over 30 years clean. So you gave your son the best gift you could have given him: honesty, love , and a power of example how to take care of oneself. Putting ourselves first is NOT selfish. It is humble. It is being in a Higher Power's will. NOBODY is going to take care of us . It is our job. The Higher Power handles the big stuff and I get to handle the day by day taking care of me stuff. And if the addict does that, they break free from their dependence on a substance, other people, things outside of themselves that don't amount to anything. The substance is just a placeholder for the love and light that we are scared to connect with. You are doing so much caring for your grands, putting one foot in front of the other, surviving. Good for you to set a boundary, put yourself first, allow yourself the feelings of sadness for the son in whom you will always see so much potential and hope. You are a strong woman modelling for your son and your grands how it is done. Much love and Christmas blessings to you. [/QUOTE]
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34 year old son is killing my soul
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