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Parent Emeritus
39 year old difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633604" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>He may not be able to understand you. He is already almost 40. That's way too old to be living with you. As I said, my 21 year old son (autistic spectrum and cognitive disability not otherwise specified) took advantage of the services offered at Aging and Disabilities and has an apartment that he pays for (not me), a part time steady job, disability, and many wonderful friends. The community of disabled adults is amazing. Of course, he doesn't drink or do drugs or drive. I would be leery of your son driving, if it were me, since he drinks and may not understand that it's dangerous to drink and drive. If you pay for the car, maybe you can get him a free pass, since he is disabled, on public transportation, like my son has, so he doesn't need to drive.</p><p></p><p>It is your decision whether you keep rescuing him until you die or if you reclaim your own life. We give ideas and you can act on them or keep saving your son, which won't help him one bit. Getting out in the world will help him. I wish you lots of luck and hope you decide your life matters and make plans to have others take over his care. He can even get a guardian if he is incapable of caring for himself and a payee for the money. And it doesn't have to be you. My son has both and it's me, but he doesn't argue with me so it works. One day I may let somebody else take over.</p><p></p><p>If your son is an alcoholic, he will need to get services for that. But it is his decision whether or not to quit. I would not help him get out of trouble for doing something like driving drunk.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633604, member: 1550"] He may not be able to understand you. He is already almost 40. That's way too old to be living with you. As I said, my 21 year old son (autistic spectrum and cognitive disability not otherwise specified) took advantage of the services offered at Aging and Disabilities and has an apartment that he pays for (not me), a part time steady job, disability, and many wonderful friends. The community of disabled adults is amazing. Of course, he doesn't drink or do drugs or drive. I would be leery of your son driving, if it were me, since he drinks and may not understand that it's dangerous to drink and drive. If you pay for the car, maybe you can get him a free pass, since he is disabled, on public transportation, like my son has, so he doesn't need to drive. It is your decision whether you keep rescuing him until you die or if you reclaim your own life. We give ideas and you can act on them or keep saving your son, which won't help him one bit. Getting out in the world will help him. I wish you lots of luck and hope you decide your life matters and make plans to have others take over his care. He can even get a guardian if he is incapable of caring for himself and a payee for the money. And it doesn't have to be you. My son has both and it's me, but he doesn't argue with me so it works. One day I may let somebody else take over. If your son is an alcoholic, he will need to get services for that. But it is his decision whether or not to quit. I would not help him get out of trouble for doing something like driving drunk. [/QUOTE]
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39 year old difficult child
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