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Parent Emeritus
39 year old difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 635212" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome Overwhelmed. I'm sorry you're going through this with your son. </p><p></p><p>You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here, along with reading Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie. Both good resources for us.</p><p></p><p>Have you tried contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness? You can access them online and they have many chapters. They have excellent parent courses that may help you with information, resources and support.</p><p></p><p>We are powerless to help our adult kids who refuse help. It then becomes about US and how we can work it out to not get pulled into all the drama and trauma our kids create around themselves. Getting support for US is very important because detachment goes against our natural instincts to care for, protect and keep our kids safe. You might try 12 step groups like Al Anon or CoDa or Families Anonymous.</p><p></p><p>Our kids don't always change, but we can change, we can learn to respond differently, we can learn to take care of ourselves first, we can learn to take the focus off of them and place it back on ourselves. We usually need support to make those changes, so my advice for you is to seek out as much support as you can, you will likely need it. </p><p></p><p>It helps to keep posting here too, just to release all the feelings to those of us who've walked in your shoes.........we understand. I'm glad you're here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 635212, member: 13542"] Welcome Overwhelmed. I'm sorry you're going through this with your son. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here, along with reading Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie. Both good resources for us. Have you tried contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness? You can access them online and they have many chapters. They have excellent parent courses that may help you with information, resources and support. We are powerless to help our adult kids who refuse help. It then becomes about US and how we can work it out to not get pulled into all the drama and trauma our kids create around themselves. Getting support for US is very important because detachment goes against our natural instincts to care for, protect and keep our kids safe. You might try 12 step groups like Al Anon or CoDa or Families Anonymous. Our kids don't always change, but we can change, we can learn to respond differently, we can learn to take care of ourselves first, we can learn to take the focus off of them and place it back on ourselves. We usually need support to make those changes, so my advice for you is to seek out as much support as you can, you will likely need it. It helps to keep posting here too, just to release all the feelings to those of us who've walked in your shoes.........we understand. I'm glad you're here. [/QUOTE]
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39 year old difficult child
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