NewStart, I have come to believe that family is who loves us and nourishes us kindly and let's us do the same. My beloved family only includes one child of DNA and he is kind of a problem. I am close to him but feel warmest around my husband and three very special loving adopted kids (very beloved kids) and have had one friend who was a sister to me, the one my biological sister never was. It is not about DNA. Trust me.
You can make your own family. My family of origin scapegoated me. I was not close at all to most of them. I plan to never talk to my sister again. I can't. It was a long time for me to cut the ties even after she called the police on me simply to get back at me for emails she did not like
.....at least twenty times and across state lines too.
I was never arrested of course because I never broke the law against her. She would call them to say I was contacting her after she told me not to....she was my DNA. But she did not love me. My mother didn't either. (Shrug) That's life. There are ways to find love. I am not alone. She is not in a healthy relationship and never has been.
I did adopt a six year old child but he did not bond and got married and took off. That felt like a death to me. I grieved for two years but the grief faded with good therapy and again I was able to get much comfort from my husband and adult kids. And being nice to myself.
We can not choose our genetic family, the one we were born to, but we can make our own family.
I will never again allow anyone who hates on me into my world. It isn't good for me. I matter. You do too.
I totally understand why you want to be in your daughter's life. She is your child. Just helps in my opinion to stop having higher expectations of relationships than the other person can give or is willing to give.
My spiritual life which is not the same as religion is also extremely comforting to me. I do strongly believe in a higher power, the Universe, the healing aspect of nature and the belief that nobody can shake that we are all souls in just one of infinite lifetimes and that earth is a school.
I send you love and light.
