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Substance Abuse
7 months on...i'm back
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 746507" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>This says everything, part of our issue when our adult kids go off the rails is that old F.ear, O.bligation, G.uilt. Fog. It shrouds our hearts and minds and makes us put up with stuff we would not put up with, if this was not our child. If this were a stranger, you would not allow this in your home.</p><p>There lies the challenge.</p><p>The list you provided is horrible, Lost, just horrible. When our two were in and out the revolving door, it was similar. A never ending circus of drama. My home was not my sanctuary, I didn’t want to be home.</p><p>Hubs and I felt obligated to help. Our helping did nothing to change their course. They just kept on the same path and dragged us along for the hellish ride.</p><p>Only you can decide what you are willing to put up with.</p><p>What I have learned is that love says no. It’s not always easy, but the alternative for me is unacceptable. The alternative is opening my door to be disrespected, walk on eggshells, lock my purse in my truck, come home from work to a mess, or a gaggle of druggy “friends” helping themselves to whatever. No. Sorry, not sorry.</p><p>A good quote I read along time ago that started me on the road to taking my life back</p><p>“What you allow, will continue.”</p><p>I will be 60 soon. I am blessed with good health. I hope to live the best rest of my life. While it is difficult having two wayward adult children doing God only knows what <em>out</em> <em>there</em>, it is much more difficult having them in my home doing much the same, wreaking havoc in my house. That is unacceptable. It is not selfish to say “No more”, it is self preservation.</p><p>You matter, Lost, peace in your home, matters.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p><p>Ps- It took me going to a therapist to take steps to grab my life back. Perhaps that would be a help for you?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 746507, member: 19522"] This says everything, part of our issue when our adult kids go off the rails is that old F.ear, O.bligation, G.uilt. Fog. It shrouds our hearts and minds and makes us put up with stuff we would not put up with, if this was not our child. If this were a stranger, you would not allow this in your home. There lies the challenge. The list you provided is horrible, Lost, just horrible. When our two were in and out the revolving door, it was similar. A never ending circus of drama. My home was not my sanctuary, I didn’t want to be home. Hubs and I felt obligated to help. Our helping did nothing to change their course. They just kept on the same path and dragged us along for the hellish ride. Only you can decide what you are willing to put up with. What I have learned is that love says no. It’s not always easy, but the alternative for me is unacceptable. The alternative is opening my door to be disrespected, walk on eggshells, lock my purse in my truck, come home from work to a mess, or a gaggle of druggy “friends” helping themselves to whatever. No. Sorry, not sorry. A good quote I read along time ago that started me on the road to taking my life back “What you allow, will continue.” I will be 60 soon. I am blessed with good health. I hope to live the best rest of my life. While it is difficult having two wayward adult children doing God only knows what [I]out[/I] [I]there[/I], it is much more difficult having them in my home doing much the same, wreaking havoc in my house. That is unacceptable. It is not selfish to say “No more”, it is self preservation. You matter, Lost, peace in your home, matters. (((Hugs))) Leafy Ps- It took me going to a therapist to take steps to grab my life back. Perhaps that would be a help for you? [/QUOTE]
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