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Substance Abuse
7 months on...i'm back
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 746549" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Oh my. I don't know where to begin. Before your last post, I was concerned about you. Now I am scared for your daughter. You are putting a minor in an unsafe environment. You could even have her taken away from you by CPS.</p><p></p><p>Your son is an adult. Yes, he is still young but remember that 20-year-olds have fought and died for their country. He is legally an adult and has showed that he will not follow your rules. He needs to leave. NOW. There are shelters he could go to if he doesn't have a job. You will be surprised how quickly he lands on his feet if you make him leave. I am always amazed at how resourceful our troubled loved ones are when they need to be.</p><p></p><p>You have made it very easy for him to live at home and still do whatever he wants to do. You said:</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Why in the world are you washing and ironing his clothes? Is someone holding a gun to your head? Stop. Just stop. Let the laundry pile up in his room. Eventually he will wash it or go naked. His problem.</p><p></p><p>Better yet, tell him it is time to go. Tell him that you will not allow him to speak to his sister like he did or frighten her and he is putting her in danger by having drug dealers come to your home and that is why he has to leave. You would have to check into how things work in your state but you can probably get a temporary restraining order because he is endangering your daughter and deputies will come to your house to make him leave. We had to do that with our daughter when she refused to go to rehab.</p><p></p><p>I know that you love him. He is your son. But right now he is not showing you any respect and is walking all over you and will continue to do so as long as you let him do that. As long as he is using drugs, he is not the sweet boy that you remember. </p><p></p><p>Someone said something in a post a long time ago that really resonated with me. People will treat you the way that you let them treat you. Only you can put a stop to this.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad that you came back to the SA forum. We are telling you these things because we have been there, done that. My daughter lied, stole, cursed at us, and scared her sister. It took two years of private therapy until my husband and I were finally ready to take a stand and stop letting our daughter take advantage of us. We had to get to the point where we were willing to let her be homeless. That was the point she became serious about recovery.</p><p></p><p>She will be celebrating her 3rd year of sobriety in March and is a totally different person now that loves and respects us. She was just like your son at 18. Don't wait twelve years like we did to learn to set firm boundaries and stick to them.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 746549, member: 1967"] Oh my. I don't know where to begin. Before your last post, I was concerned about you. Now I am scared for your daughter. You are putting a minor in an unsafe environment. You could even have her taken away from you by CPS. Your son is an adult. Yes, he is still young but remember that 20-year-olds have fought and died for their country. He is legally an adult and has showed that he will not follow your rules. He needs to leave. NOW. There are shelters he could go to if he doesn't have a job. You will be surprised how quickly he lands on his feet if you make him leave. I am always amazed at how resourceful our troubled loved ones are when they need to be. You have made it very easy for him to live at home and still do whatever he wants to do. You said: Why in the world are you washing and ironing his clothes? Is someone holding a gun to your head? Stop. Just stop. Let the laundry pile up in his room. Eventually he will wash it or go naked. His problem. Better yet, tell him it is time to go. Tell him that you will not allow him to speak to his sister like he did or frighten her and he is putting her in danger by having drug dealers come to your home and that is why he has to leave. You would have to check into how things work in your state but you can probably get a temporary restraining order because he is endangering your daughter and deputies will come to your house to make him leave. We had to do that with our daughter when she refused to go to rehab. I know that you love him. He is your son. But right now he is not showing you any respect and is walking all over you and will continue to do so as long as you let him do that. As long as he is using drugs, he is not the sweet boy that you remember. Someone said something in a post a long time ago that really resonated with me. People will treat you the way that you let them treat you. Only you can put a stop to this. I'm glad that you came back to the SA forum. We are telling you these things because we have been there, done that. My daughter lied, stole, cursed at us, and scared her sister. It took two years of private therapy until my husband and I were finally ready to take a stand and stop letting our daughter take advantage of us. We had to get to the point where we were willing to let her be homeless. That was the point she became serious about recovery. She will be celebrating her 3rd year of sobriety in March and is a totally different person now that loves and respects us. She was just like your son at 18. Don't wait twelve years like we did to learn to set firm boundaries and stick to them. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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