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Substance Abuse
7 months on...i'm back
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 746553" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Honestly, all my kids including my autistic son, could and often did their own laundry by twelve. They did not complain. They could cook, clean etc. I would not do that for even a nice 20 year old. Adults need to adult. I tried to teach all my kids to be able to take care of themselves. It turned out to be a good thing.</p><p></p><p>I was one of those who has said here that we are treated as badly as we allow an abusuve person to treat us. It is in large part on us to stop it. If we dont it doesnt stop. It can get worse. We stop it by setting very difficult boundaries that sometimes make us cry. But I don't think its good for a family member who is unstable and mean to be able to scare everyone else.</p><p></p><p> I allowed some family to keep abusing me because I loved them, but I regret it and now I am done with the one still alive.</p><p></p><p>We know, even if we try to deny it in our broken hearts, when a loved one is not going to be kind to us.</p><p></p><p>Even when we love somebody as much as a child, i feel we have a responsibility to keep other beloved children safe from anyone who is dangerous to that child. Yes, I feel we have to pick sides when abuse is in the picture. Would you have allowed a stranger to treat your daughter like your son did in your home?</p><p></p><p>Why is it different because he is her brother and your son? On many levels I think that his being her brother makes it more traumatic and probably causes more resentment in her.</p><p></p><p>One day you very well may hear an angry daughter say, "You always put him first and never protected me!"</p><p></p><p>Only you can change how he treats the rest of you and whether or not he lives there. Me, I am worried about the daughter. If adults tolerate being treated badly and abused so be it. But not another child, even if the child is NOT a minor. </p><p></p><p>Jmo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 746553, member: 1550"] Honestly, all my kids including my autistic son, could and often did their own laundry by twelve. They did not complain. They could cook, clean etc. I would not do that for even a nice 20 year old. Adults need to adult. I tried to teach all my kids to be able to take care of themselves. It turned out to be a good thing. I was one of those who has said here that we are treated as badly as we allow an abusuve person to treat us. It is in large part on us to stop it. If we dont it doesnt stop. It can get worse. We stop it by setting very difficult boundaries that sometimes make us cry. But I don't think its good for a family member who is unstable and mean to be able to scare everyone else. I allowed some family to keep abusing me because I loved them, but I regret it and now I am done with the one still alive. We know, even if we try to deny it in our broken hearts, when a loved one is not going to be kind to us. Even when we love somebody as much as a child, i feel we have a responsibility to keep other beloved children safe from anyone who is dangerous to that child. Yes, I feel we have to pick sides when abuse is in the picture. Would you have allowed a stranger to treat your daughter like your son did in your home? Why is it different because he is her brother and your son? On many levels I think that his being her brother makes it more traumatic and probably causes more resentment in her. One day you very well may hear an angry daughter say, "You always put him first and never protected me!" Only you can change how he treats the rest of you and whether or not he lives there. Me, I am worried about the daughter. If adults tolerate being treated badly and abused so be it. But not another child, even if the child is NOT a minor. Jmo [/QUOTE]
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