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Substance Abuse
7 months on...i'm back
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 746565" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Sometimes in life there is no good solution and we have to find the better of the bad.</p><p></p><p>The thing is, this is abuse. You are being abused. And, please forgive me for this, you are exhibiting some of the characteristics of a woman (or child) who has been abused. You are blaming yourself. You feel powerless. It's hard to stay centered inside yourself. You seek to placate him so that he stops. You tell yourself if you are a good mother (good child), if you act better, and stop acting badly, the abuser will stop. You look for the one good thing in the abuser to idealize, and try to shut out all of the other reality. Feeling "I deserve it" because I caused it. Difficulty coping. You feel the shame of the situation. I feel great empathy and understanding for all of this, can you feel it for yourself?</p><p></p><p>All of this is abuse or its effect:</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I can't help but wonder if in your own childhood or earlier life somebody mistreated you. I share many of these same issues. Finally, and I am much older than you, I am going to a therapist that works with traumatized people through focusing on residual trauma that is held in the body, so that it can be processed and we can come to feel ourselves in life more authentically and with greater worth and efficacy. None of this is your fault.</p><p></p><p>I think the idea of helping your son get other housing is a very good start, but I hope you decide to get some support too, for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 746565, member: 18958"] Sometimes in life there is no good solution and we have to find the better of the bad. The thing is, this is abuse. You are being abused. And, please forgive me for this, you are exhibiting some of the characteristics of a woman (or child) who has been abused. You are blaming yourself. You feel powerless. It's hard to stay centered inside yourself. You seek to placate him so that he stops. You tell yourself if you are a good mother (good child), if you act better, and stop acting badly, the abuser will stop. You look for the one good thing in the abuser to idealize, and try to shut out all of the other reality. Feeling "I deserve it" because I caused it. Difficulty coping. You feel the shame of the situation. I feel great empathy and understanding for all of this, can you feel it for yourself? All of this is abuse or its effect: I can't help but wonder if in your own childhood or earlier life somebody mistreated you. I share many of these same issues. Finally, and I am much older than you, I am going to a therapist that works with traumatized people through focusing on residual trauma that is held in the body, so that it can be processed and we can come to feel ourselves in life more authentically and with greater worth and efficacy. None of this is your fault. I think the idea of helping your son get other housing is a very good start, but I hope you decide to get some support too, for you. [/QUOTE]
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7 months on...i'm back
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