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Substance Abuse
7 months on...i'm back
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 749753" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Usually I'm a huge proponent of writing out a contract for adult kids living in our homes about behavior, holding a job, etc. and then holding them to it or kicking them out after their first infraction. However, he has crossed numerous lines, most recently scaring your daughter and he needs to go. YOU should not find him a place nor pay for it. He is an adult and can do these things himself. Whether he <em>wants</em> to do them or not is another story, but that is his choice. Remember, enabling is doing something for another adult they are capable of doing for themselves. Your adult son is capable of finding a job, place to live, health care, etc. If he chooses not to do these things then he must suffer the consequences. There are many days I don't feel like going to work, but if I lose my job nobody will take me and my numerous pets in and house and feed us. Nor should they. Everyone here knows how difficult this is. I threw my daughter out with my infant granddaughter when she refused to follow the rules we had agreed upon. I literally felt like I was going to die. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I barely slept for days. But guess what? She found someone to take them in and someone <em>gave</em> her a car. Yes, GAVE her a car. These adult kids are remarkably resourceful when they need to be. Put your focus where it belongs- on your own health and well-being. Send him on his way. Sending peace to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 749753, member: 11235"] Usually I'm a huge proponent of writing out a contract for adult kids living in our homes about behavior, holding a job, etc. and then holding them to it or kicking them out after their first infraction. However, he has crossed numerous lines, most recently scaring your daughter and he needs to go. YOU should not find him a place nor pay for it. He is an adult and can do these things himself. Whether he [I]wants[/I] to do them or not is another story, but that is his choice. Remember, enabling is doing something for another adult they are capable of doing for themselves. Your adult son is capable of finding a job, place to live, health care, etc. If he chooses not to do these things then he must suffer the consequences. There are many days I don't feel like going to work, but if I lose my job nobody will take me and my numerous pets in and house and feed us. Nor should they. Everyone here knows how difficult this is. I threw my daughter out with my infant granddaughter when she refused to follow the rules we had agreed upon. I literally felt like I was going to die. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I barely slept for days. But guess what? She found someone to take them in and someone [I]gave[/I] her a car. Yes, GAVE her a car. These adult kids are remarkably resourceful when they need to be. Put your focus where it belongs- on your own health and well-being. Send him on his way. Sending peace to you. [/QUOTE]
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7 months on...i'm back
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