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8 yr old stepson - Sorry this is LONG
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 429838" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>welcome! I am glad you found us (and sorry you need us, Know what I mean??)!! This truly is a wonderful place for parents of kids with problems.</p><p></p><p>Could I ask you to do a favor for us? Can you write more in paragraphs in the future? It can be hard to read such a long, unbroken post. NOT that your should shroten your post by any means. You gave us awesome info and a good picture of what is going on. But many of us have problems with our eyes or with being constantly interrupted and it is just easier if there are some paragraph breaks,. Thanks so much. </p><p></p><p>What kind of evaluations has difficult child had? Does he see a psychiatrist and therapist both? Do you and your husband and difficult child's mom all see tdocs also? Family therapy can be very helpful, NOT because you are doing anything wrong, but to help you all help him the best way possible. Indiv therapy is also a HUGE help for each adult because the stress of life with a difficult child is enormous. Many of us have needed medication ourselves at times as we raise difficult children.</p><p></p><p>I really do not think that he has only adhd and odd. First off many of us think that ODD is a pretty worthless diagnosis. It describes behaviors but gives NO help in figuring out WHY they happen and how to treat them. Most diagnosis's help you know the cause and give you directions to go to find the best help for the problem. ODD just adds letter to the alphabet string of diagnosis's and boxes to check on insurance forms. It CAN be helpful in getting an insurance co to approve therapy, but even that isn't always true. Second, while his behaviors do show adhd, it does NOT fully explain his symptoms. Many, if not most of us started with an adhd and/or ODD diagnosis for our kids. After years of doing all we could to help our kids we learned that more was going on and our kids then got their other diagnosis's. A few years ago I read a statistic that it takes an average of 7 YEARS to get the best diagnosis for your child's problems. Now this isn't hard and fast, of course, but it dose let you know to not stop looking until you find the answer that best fits what is going on.</p><p></p><p>It is pretty awesome that you, your husband, and difficult child's mom all work together so well for him. I hope you know how rare this is and really appreciate what a wonderful family and support system that your difficult child has (and your younger has because they are in his life also). Don't let yourself forget how wonderful and rare this is - and be sure to keep supporting each other. You will NEED each other as puberty and the teen years happen. </p><p></p><p>One thing that you MUST do is to trust your instincts and to help your husband and difficult child's mom to trust theirs. The really big, bad mistakes I made while my difficult child were ALL done because I didn't follow my instincts. You can call it instinct, intuition, your gut, or whatever, but it is that voice that can scream in your head that something is seriously WRONG. Always remember that the parents are the experts in the child. docs, therapists, teachers, etc... are all experts in a job, a field of study. THey spend little time iwth your difficult child and do NOT always know what is best. YOU (the parents) spend enormous amounts of time with your child and you know him (and how he will act/react) far better than any doctor/expert ever could. </p><p></p><p>If you haven't explored the archives, they are a real treasure chest packed with information. They can be really helpful as you deal with school, docs, difficult children, etc... There is a link in my signature that will take you to a thread in the General forum archives that talks about parent reports. This is a document that you create to keep ALL the info on difficult child in one binder. It is invaluable as you work to help your son get what he needs and to protect him and his rights. It will be one of the most powerful tools you have in your fight to help difficult child. It also will save time in the long run because everything is organized and easily accessible. </p><p></p><p>One of the issues that is often overlooked or simply not heard of is sensory integration disorder. This is when the brain does not handle info from the senses in the typical way. It is very very common and the right treatment can be hugely helpful. It is possible to have sensory problems and not have full blown Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), just as other diseases are a spectrum also. The evaluation for this is done by an Occupational Therapist. ir ecommend using a private Occupational Therapist (OT) as they will look for problems in his entire life and the OTs that work for the school mainly look at how it causes problems in school/academics. Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) is one of the "better" disorders to have because the treatment does not require medication and is often fun for the child. You can learn more about this in the book, "The Out of Sync Child" by Kranowitz. </p><p></p><p>Sorry if I tossed too much info on you all at once, I tend to be quite wordy. </p><p></p><p>((((((((((hugs)))))))))) Welcome to our little corner of the web!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 429838, member: 1233"] welcome! I am glad you found us (and sorry you need us, Know what I mean??)!! This truly is a wonderful place for parents of kids with problems. Could I ask you to do a favor for us? Can you write more in paragraphs in the future? It can be hard to read such a long, unbroken post. NOT that your should shroten your post by any means. You gave us awesome info and a good picture of what is going on. But many of us have problems with our eyes or with being constantly interrupted and it is just easier if there are some paragraph breaks,. Thanks so much. What kind of evaluations has difficult child had? Does he see a psychiatrist and therapist both? Do you and your husband and difficult child's mom all see tdocs also? Family therapy can be very helpful, NOT because you are doing anything wrong, but to help you all help him the best way possible. Indiv therapy is also a HUGE help for each adult because the stress of life with a difficult child is enormous. Many of us have needed medication ourselves at times as we raise difficult children. I really do not think that he has only adhd and odd. First off many of us think that ODD is a pretty worthless diagnosis. It describes behaviors but gives NO help in figuring out WHY they happen and how to treat them. Most diagnosis's help you know the cause and give you directions to go to find the best help for the problem. ODD just adds letter to the alphabet string of diagnosis's and boxes to check on insurance forms. It CAN be helpful in getting an insurance co to approve therapy, but even that isn't always true. Second, while his behaviors do show adhd, it does NOT fully explain his symptoms. Many, if not most of us started with an adhd and/or ODD diagnosis for our kids. After years of doing all we could to help our kids we learned that more was going on and our kids then got their other diagnosis's. A few years ago I read a statistic that it takes an average of 7 YEARS to get the best diagnosis for your child's problems. Now this isn't hard and fast, of course, but it dose let you know to not stop looking until you find the answer that best fits what is going on. It is pretty awesome that you, your husband, and difficult child's mom all work together so well for him. I hope you know how rare this is and really appreciate what a wonderful family and support system that your difficult child has (and your younger has because they are in his life also). Don't let yourself forget how wonderful and rare this is - and be sure to keep supporting each other. You will NEED each other as puberty and the teen years happen. One thing that you MUST do is to trust your instincts and to help your husband and difficult child's mom to trust theirs. The really big, bad mistakes I made while my difficult child were ALL done because I didn't follow my instincts. You can call it instinct, intuition, your gut, or whatever, but it is that voice that can scream in your head that something is seriously WRONG. Always remember that the parents are the experts in the child. docs, therapists, teachers, etc... are all experts in a job, a field of study. THey spend little time iwth your difficult child and do NOT always know what is best. YOU (the parents) spend enormous amounts of time with your child and you know him (and how he will act/react) far better than any doctor/expert ever could. If you haven't explored the archives, they are a real treasure chest packed with information. They can be really helpful as you deal with school, docs, difficult children, etc... There is a link in my signature that will take you to a thread in the General forum archives that talks about parent reports. This is a document that you create to keep ALL the info on difficult child in one binder. It is invaluable as you work to help your son get what he needs and to protect him and his rights. It will be one of the most powerful tools you have in your fight to help difficult child. It also will save time in the long run because everything is organized and easily accessible. One of the issues that is often overlooked or simply not heard of is sensory integration disorder. This is when the brain does not handle info from the senses in the typical way. It is very very common and the right treatment can be hugely helpful. It is possible to have sensory problems and not have full blown Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), just as other diseases are a spectrum also. The evaluation for this is done by an Occupational Therapist. ir ecommend using a private Occupational Therapist (OT) as they will look for problems in his entire life and the OTs that work for the school mainly look at how it causes problems in school/academics. Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) is one of the "better" disorders to have because the treatment does not require medication and is often fun for the child. You can learn more about this in the book, "The Out of Sync Child" by Kranowitz. Sorry if I tossed too much info on you all at once, I tend to be quite wordy. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) Welcome to our little corner of the web! [/QUOTE]
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