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9M difficult child... I'm wearing thin fast.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 613810" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Suzir, this study is sadly not true. Sorry, you're wrong about this and there are many other studies that refute that. Plus this child was not from Romania...I am guessing attachment disorder has many studies with conflicting results, but those of us who live with it...FULL attachment disorder, not just attachment issues, can help this poster. I directed her to an adoption site that is full of help for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), as WE know Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Perhaps you might want to read some of it yourself. </p><p></p><p>Suzir, you were ready to take issue with your son's GA sponsor. THAT seemed to be a big issue to you, which is ok, but shows that you can afford to be particular about what you worry over. To me this was a no-brainer...you let your adult child handle it yourself. But you were filled with angst over what he said to your fairly well functioning ADULT son and yet you can't understand how this parent can be pleased. You have no idea what would help this child. You don't understand what this child is about. Sorry, this is not within your area of expertise. Your child does not struggle with attachment issues. This child most likely is indifferent to what his parents think of him, but she will learn more on the other site, although since she has read almost everything she can get her hands on, I'm sure she has quite a bit of knowledge on the topic. I am not so sure you'd be so understanding if your older son had repeatedly tried to hurt, destroy, or maybe even choke your younger son. Patience turns to "what can I do to keep my family safe" when this happens. </p><p></p><p>With all due respect, your child also was not a threat to anyone else in your family. He was also not adopted nor did he have a chaotic early years. This is unhelpful to Aimless. I have offered to talk to her on the phone and hope she takes me up on it. Mothers of dangerous kids tend to need to be able to unload. Your post did not help her.A regular mainstream therapist will not help this child. Nor does positive reinforcement. These kids do not care what their parents think of them as they are not attached. Methods that work for attached kids, who care about what their parents think and want their praise, do not work with unattached kids. You are wrong to condemn this lady when you have never walked in her shoes.</p><p></p><p>We do not know your difficult child's backstory. Suzir, would you like to share it? Until then, how can we know if you have any understanding at all of a child who is a danger to others? To you? To himself? We don't know much about your situation at all. You are vague and do not sound distraught. Your difficult child's problems do not sound as severe as most of us are dealing with, but again this lady put it all out there and you have not. I think she was brave to do it and I do think she has been directed to good resources and to people who will not try to intellectualize a terrorizing issue.</p><p></p><p>I wish you would share your story more so we know where you are coming from. Hope you decide to also tell us, especially if you are going to give advice to parents who live with very dangerous children.</p><p></p><p>Aimless, check the site I posted and I hope to hear from you. Trust me, we could swap stories!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 613810, member: 1550"] Suzir, this study is sadly not true. Sorry, you're wrong about this and there are many other studies that refute that. Plus this child was not from Romania...I am guessing attachment disorder has many studies with conflicting results, but those of us who live with it...FULL attachment disorder, not just attachment issues, can help this poster. I directed her to an adoption site that is full of help for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), as WE know Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Perhaps you might want to read some of it yourself. Suzir, you were ready to take issue with your son's GA sponsor. THAT seemed to be a big issue to you, which is ok, but shows that you can afford to be particular about what you worry over. To me this was a no-brainer...you let your adult child handle it yourself. But you were filled with angst over what he said to your fairly well functioning ADULT son and yet you can't understand how this parent can be pleased. You have no idea what would help this child. You don't understand what this child is about. Sorry, this is not within your area of expertise. Your child does not struggle with attachment issues. This child most likely is indifferent to what his parents think of him, but she will learn more on the other site, although since she has read almost everything she can get her hands on, I'm sure she has quite a bit of knowledge on the topic. I am not so sure you'd be so understanding if your older son had repeatedly tried to hurt, destroy, or maybe even choke your younger son. Patience turns to "what can I do to keep my family safe" when this happens. With all due respect, your child also was not a threat to anyone else in your family. He was also not adopted nor did he have a chaotic early years. This is unhelpful to Aimless. I have offered to talk to her on the phone and hope she takes me up on it. Mothers of dangerous kids tend to need to be able to unload. Your post did not help her.A regular mainstream therapist will not help this child. Nor does positive reinforcement. These kids do not care what their parents think of them as they are not attached. Methods that work for attached kids, who care about what their parents think and want their praise, do not work with unattached kids. You are wrong to condemn this lady when you have never walked in her shoes. We do not know your difficult child's backstory. Suzir, would you like to share it? Until then, how can we know if you have any understanding at all of a child who is a danger to others? To you? To himself? We don't know much about your situation at all. You are vague and do not sound distraught. Your difficult child's problems do not sound as severe as most of us are dealing with, but again this lady put it all out there and you have not. I think she was brave to do it and I do think she has been directed to good resources and to people who will not try to intellectualize a terrorizing issue. I wish you would share your story more so we know where you are coming from. Hope you decide to also tell us, especially if you are going to give advice to parents who live with very dangerous children. Aimless, check the site I posted and I hope to hear from you. Trust me, we could swap stories! [/QUOTE]
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