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A dilemma...
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 76114" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Personally, I think trust is something he needs to earn back rather than just be given to him because his therapist says he should have it back. He does sound like he is making a good effort but I'm not convinced it's the real thing. A lot of his talk sounds like the typical stuff kids spew to make their parents happy while they blithely go their own way. You do have some safeguards in place (neighbor, police) but I think I would try to add at least one more -- maybe hiring someone to come around at odd times to make sure everything is okay?</p><p></p><p>Is he working yet? Is he still staying all night with friends? I hate to say this, but I see some huge contradictions in what you say -- in previous posts, he was spending the night with friends and rarely home; now, "he's come home early every night, avoiding the party scene." Which is the truth? Staying overnight at friends? Coming home early every night? In other words, what has he truly done to earn your trust?</p><p></p><p>What happens if you go and your son does have friends over and they do drink or party or whatever? Does he know and understand what the repercussions will be if he betrays your trust? More importantly, are you prepared to follow through with whatever you decide are the correct consequences?</p><p></p><p>I would say that if you have firm consequences in place, that he knows what they are and there is no doubt you will follow through, go on your trip. You have a right to a life; he has a right to earn some trust back (not just give it to him on a silver platter). </p><p></p><p>I have my doubts about how honest your son is being. I think he's playing you. However, he is YOUR son and YOU know him far better than I do. If you think he's being as honest as he can, that he's trying as much as he can, then he's earned the right to prove himself. If, however, you think it's a scam by him, then you have a duty to stop him before he can do serious harm to himself and to your property, whether that means a housesitter or you canceling your vacation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 76114, member: 3626"] Personally, I think trust is something he needs to earn back rather than just be given to him because his therapist says he should have it back. He does sound like he is making a good effort but I'm not convinced it's the real thing. A lot of his talk sounds like the typical stuff kids spew to make their parents happy while they blithely go their own way. You do have some safeguards in place (neighbor, police) but I think I would try to add at least one more -- maybe hiring someone to come around at odd times to make sure everything is okay? Is he working yet? Is he still staying all night with friends? I hate to say this, but I see some huge contradictions in what you say -- in previous posts, he was spending the night with friends and rarely home; now, "he's come home early every night, avoiding the party scene." Which is the truth? Staying overnight at friends? Coming home early every night? In other words, what has he truly done to earn your trust? What happens if you go and your son does have friends over and they do drink or party or whatever? Does he know and understand what the repercussions will be if he betrays your trust? More importantly, are you prepared to follow through with whatever you decide are the correct consequences? I would say that if you have firm consequences in place, that he knows what they are and there is no doubt you will follow through, go on your trip. You have a right to a life; he has a right to earn some trust back (not just give it to him on a silver platter). I have my doubts about how honest your son is being. I think he's playing you. However, he is YOUR son and YOU know him far better than I do. If you think he's being as honest as he can, that he's trying as much as he can, then he's earned the right to prove himself. If, however, you think it's a scam by him, then you have a duty to stop him before he can do serious harm to himself and to your property, whether that means a housesitter or you canceling your vacation. [/QUOTE]
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