Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
A Letter from an Addict to His Family...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 744680" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>TMT. What you see and experience of your son is the drugs and the lifestyle he has lived along with the drugs. But the thing is this: we become our choices.</p><p></p><p>You know this. As long as he continues to live a life fueled by drug use and informed by the associations and influences of this lifestyle, this will continue.</p><p></p><p>The incarceration could turn things around for him. But of course, he sees this inside out.</p><p></p><p>You know all of this but it is very hard to live it.</p><p></p><p>Right now until this jig is up I would try to look at it this way: your primary relationship here is to yourself, not him. To doing what you feel is right. Which has been to do what is in your power so that he might present himself on the designated day.</p><p></p><p>This is the mission you've committed to. But you are always free to rethink it. Remember that.</p><p></p><p>Some piece of this needs to come from him.</p><p></p><p>You cannot turn this around for him. He seems hell bent to thwart you. The important thing is to not be collateral damage. This you know. How much is enough?</p><p></p><p>What he does is on him. Not you. Please limit contact with him to what is absolutely necessary. If you have to pay for a weekly motel so be it.</p><p></p><p>We cannot control another adult's life, even to protect it. If there is one lesson on this forum it is that. (I seem unable to accept this, unfortunately.)</p><p></p><p>I agree with you about minimizing the stressors and expectations of Xmas and doing whatever makes you feel safe and secure and nourished. (By the way, your husband seems like a dream.)</p><p></p><p>One day at a time. Son will do what he does.</p><p>Your eyes are on the ball. The date.</p><p></p><p>But the question is this: does your focus need to change? Is your own life, the life in question?</p><p></p><p>Every single one of us here appreciates how hard this must be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 744680, member: 18958"] TMT. What you see and experience of your son is the drugs and the lifestyle he has lived along with the drugs. But the thing is this: we become our choices. You know this. As long as he continues to live a life fueled by drug use and informed by the associations and influences of this lifestyle, this will continue. The incarceration could turn things around for him. But of course, he sees this inside out. You know all of this but it is very hard to live it. Right now until this jig is up I would try to look at it this way: your primary relationship here is to yourself, not him. To doing what you feel is right. Which has been to do what is in your power so that he might present himself on the designated day. This is the mission you've committed to. But you are always free to rethink it. Remember that. Some piece of this needs to come from him. You cannot turn this around for him. He seems hell bent to thwart you. The important thing is to not be collateral damage. This you know. How much is enough? What he does is on him. Not you. Please limit contact with him to what is absolutely necessary. If you have to pay for a weekly motel so be it. We cannot control another adult's life, even to protect it. If there is one lesson on this forum it is that. (I seem unable to accept this, unfortunately.) I agree with you about minimizing the stressors and expectations of Xmas and doing whatever makes you feel safe and secure and nourished. (By the way, your husband seems like a dream.) One day at a time. Son will do what he does. Your eyes are on the ball. The date. But the question is this: does your focus need to change? Is your own life, the life in question? Every single one of us here appreciates how hard this must be. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
A Letter from an Addict to His Family...
Top