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A new path for difficult child and I......
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 639958" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>RE, that is wild, crazy and great. She loves you. That is huge. That is pure validation that she is doing what she wants to do, not because of anything YOU did, but because of her own inner path. Sometimes that love is the solace we need to sustain us.It means that we did do things right.</p><p></p><p>I am sort of where you are at. Even after my son bashes me and hangs up on him before I can hang up on him, which is a tactic he sometimes uses and at one time would have had me stewing for hours, I can just shrug and go on. It's a real evolution though. It took me a long time to realize that it is about him, not me.</p><p></p><p>Their behavior and choices are about themselves, not us, save if we'd beaten them or starved them or abused them. Even then, not all abused children turn out the way ours did.</p><p></p><p>Remember that nice concern my son expressed for me during the cancer scare? It sure disappeared fast...lol. Today we found out somebody cashed a check that was sent to me (see Watercooler) and I was waiting for the police to call me back. 37 called. He had just seen the psychologist who was in charge of his son's case during his custody fight with his ex. The man terrifies him because of his power over his life. He started out without saying "hello" just jumping in about what had happened and how stressed he was, trying to figure out what it meant, and I tried to tell him the police were going to call because of the check, but he didn't let me. Finally the police did call and I had to get off. He was talking and wouldn't stop so I tried to talk over him and tell him. I guess all he heard was "I have to go" because he swore at me and told me I was a b**** not to listen to her son when he was...that was all I heard before I switched calls.</p><p></p><p>And when it was all over, I sat at the dinner table to talk to my husband. I didn't even bring up 37. We were talking about the bizarre story about my forged check and that was that.</p><p></p><p>In a way, it's sad. But mostly it is very peaceful.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you have found happiness and a way to both love your daughter and detach from her choices. I may get to where you're at one day. I know I am still not quite there.</p><p></p><p>Kudos to you and your wonderful day. I may be crazy, but I get it!!! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 639958, member: 1550"] RE, that is wild, crazy and great. She loves you. That is huge. That is pure validation that she is doing what she wants to do, not because of anything YOU did, but because of her own inner path. Sometimes that love is the solace we need to sustain us.It means that we did do things right. I am sort of where you are at. Even after my son bashes me and hangs up on him before I can hang up on him, which is a tactic he sometimes uses and at one time would have had me stewing for hours, I can just shrug and go on. It's a real evolution though. It took me a long time to realize that it is about him, not me. Their behavior and choices are about themselves, not us, save if we'd beaten them or starved them or abused them. Even then, not all abused children turn out the way ours did. Remember that nice concern my son expressed for me during the cancer scare? It sure disappeared fast...lol. Today we found out somebody cashed a check that was sent to me (see Watercooler) and I was waiting for the police to call me back. 37 called. He had just seen the psychologist who was in charge of his son's case during his custody fight with his ex. The man terrifies him because of his power over his life. He started out without saying "hello" just jumping in about what had happened and how stressed he was, trying to figure out what it meant, and I tried to tell him the police were going to call because of the check, but he didn't let me. Finally the police did call and I had to get off. He was talking and wouldn't stop so I tried to talk over him and tell him. I guess all he heard was "I have to go" because he swore at me and told me I was a b**** not to listen to her son when he was...that was all I heard before I switched calls. And when it was all over, I sat at the dinner table to talk to my husband. I didn't even bring up 37. We were talking about the bizarre story about my forged check and that was that. In a way, it's sad. But mostly it is very peaceful. I am glad you have found happiness and a way to both love your daughter and detach from her choices. I may get to where you're at one day. I know I am still not quite there. Kudos to you and your wonderful day. I may be crazy, but I get it!!! ;) [/QUOTE]
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