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A tough question to answer ...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nature" data-source="post: 740455" data-attributes="member: 19011"><p>Elsi you are my sister in spirit! You answered honestly and truthfully in a way that your son understood your reasoning.</p><p></p><p>Ironically ,my son and I had that same conversation a few years ago. At that time I told him I was feeling sad because he was so different when he was under the influence of drugs. I remember the hurt look on his face and he responded with "Mom, I would never hurt you". I replied " I know the real you- the person I love would never harm me but the person you become under the influence is so different". The conversation that followed was very similar to yours with your son. They need to hear it.</p><p></p><p>Elsi don't beat yourself up for your discussion with your son. You have a right to be free from violence and fear. In my case my fears were not groundless as under drug induced psychosis my son did try to harm me a few weeks after our conversation. I even brought it up to the lawyer when he was charged.</p><p></p><p> Your fear is based on your past experience and the need to protect yourself. You spoke the truth and I feel you chose your words carefully so that your son would understand. You know in your heart that your will never feel 100% safe having your son living under the same roof as yourself. It hurts and wounds your soul having to say those words to your child but in reality you would have disliked yourself more for not being honest with him.</p><p></p><p>I grew up with a violent father who drank a lot. As a kid I remember the fear I had and never wanted to repeat that in my lifetime. It broke my heart that years later I experienced that same fear of my own child. I suspect there is a lot of guilt in your background in regards to your son growing up in a household with violence. It was never you Elsi you were the demon fighter...you continue to be. You are the light in his dark moments. Stay strong my friend.</p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nature, post: 740455, member: 19011"] Elsi you are my sister in spirit! You answered honestly and truthfully in a way that your son understood your reasoning. Ironically ,my son and I had that same conversation a few years ago. At that time I told him I was feeling sad because he was so different when he was under the influence of drugs. I remember the hurt look on his face and he responded with "Mom, I would never hurt you". I replied " I know the real you- the person I love would never harm me but the person you become under the influence is so different". The conversation that followed was very similar to yours with your son. They need to hear it. Elsi don't beat yourself up for your discussion with your son. You have a right to be free from violence and fear. In my case my fears were not groundless as under drug induced psychosis my son did try to harm me a few weeks after our conversation. I even brought it up to the lawyer when he was charged. Your fear is based on your past experience and the need to protect yourself. You spoke the truth and I feel you chose your words carefully so that your son would understand. You know in your heart that your will never feel 100% safe having your son living under the same roof as yourself. It hurts and wounds your soul having to say those words to your child but in reality you would have disliked yourself more for not being honest with him. I grew up with a violent father who drank a lot. As a kid I remember the fear I had and never wanted to repeat that in my lifetime. It broke my heart that years later I experienced that same fear of my own child. I suspect there is a lot of guilt in your background in regards to your son growing up in a household with violence. It was never you Elsi you were the demon fighter...you continue to be. You are the light in his dark moments. Stay strong my friend. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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