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A tough question to answer ...
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 740518" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Elsi. I am sorry I missed this thread. I have been wrapped up in myself. I think he was courageous to bring this up. </p><p></p><p>I feel sad for him. It sounds like he is struggling to confront his own sense of guilt and responsibility for his bad acts. What a blessing that he has you. If he did not he would be left to deal with a sense of self solely in relationship to his father, and what a mess that would be. It is hard enough as it is. When he thinks about you it seems that he has the courage to face himself. What a gift.</p><p>I agree with everybody else. Yours was a perfect response. You were honest but kind. Direct but gentle. </p><p></p><p>I think he must still be angling to go to your house, but knows in his heart he cannot.</p><p></p><p>Our kids DO NOT THINK OF US as deserving privacy or space, or even do they think about us as having independent needs apart from their own. I wonder if typical kids that age are able to step back and see that their parents have needs. I think they do. But all and all he sounds like is doing as good as can be expected. </p><p></p><p>My son and I used to have these kinds of talks, but not for a long time. I am not sure why.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 740518, member: 18958"] Elsi. I am sorry I missed this thread. I have been wrapped up in myself. I think he was courageous to bring this up. I feel sad for him. It sounds like he is struggling to confront his own sense of guilt and responsibility for his bad acts. What a blessing that he has you. If he did not he would be left to deal with a sense of self solely in relationship to his father, and what a mess that would be. It is hard enough as it is. When he thinks about you it seems that he has the courage to face himself. What a gift. I agree with everybody else. Yours was a perfect response. You were honest but kind. Direct but gentle. I think he must still be angling to go to your house, but knows in his heart he cannot. Our kids DO NOT THINK OF US as deserving privacy or space, or even do they think about us as having independent needs apart from their own. I wonder if typical kids that age are able to step back and see that their parents have needs. I think they do. But all and all he sounds like is doing as good as can be expected. My son and I used to have these kinds of talks, but not for a long time. I am not sure why. [/QUOTE]
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