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a train wreck already
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 745058" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Misssy, I strongly disagree with enabling adults, especially older ones. I would not allow an angry adult child who didnt work or get mental health services to live with me. He needs to get over the anger issues.</p><p></p><p> I had a mental illness (still do) and worked, married, had kids, got great psychiatric help and had no parental support and my first husband was no support either.</p><p></p><p> But I sure felt good doing it myself and I grew strong. Im glad my parents did not take care of me or I would not be so strong. I never was babied for my mood disorder. And it was severe until I got on the right medication.</p><p></p><p> Most of us here try to detach in certain degrees and do not house our adults. I cant change how you feel but I recommend therapy.</p><p></p><p> We made our daughter leave for continuous meth and coke use and we had two littles who didnt need to see her act high. Nor did we. She refused the professional help we offered. So we told her she had to leave. She had somewhere to go but it was very strict and demands were placed on her. It really helped her. </p><p></p><p>Within one year, my19 year old daughter who was an addict and not allowed to live here until she quit drugs DID quit drugs, even cigarettes. She had a job, took out a loan and went to college, worked, and now has a long term SO, her own house, and my lovely granddaughter. We are very close but she never lived with us again after we made her leave. She didnt need or want to.</p><p></p><p>She grew strong too. All my kids are strong. I have an autistic son who chose to live on his own, works and has improved ninety percent. He has a few adult services but is mostly on his own. And he likes his independence. He is 25. But he wanted to look for a place at 20 so we helped him and he moved out on his own. We are also very close. Great young man. My hero!</p><p></p><p>I wont change your mind and wont try but I hope you do explore therapy to help you maybe cope better both for your sake and for your son too. Your son is 29. What id so damaged about him that he cant live alone, like my autistic son?</p><p></p><p> Anger issues he can work on as he works and gets good therapy. He is able bodied I assume. </p><p></p><p>Good luck and hugs, love and light. Do try therapy for you!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 745058, member: 1550"] Misssy, I strongly disagree with enabling adults, especially older ones. I would not allow an angry adult child who didnt work or get mental health services to live with me. He needs to get over the anger issues. I had a mental illness (still do) and worked, married, had kids, got great psychiatric help and had no parental support and my first husband was no support either. But I sure felt good doing it myself and I grew strong. Im glad my parents did not take care of me or I would not be so strong. I never was babied for my mood disorder. And it was severe until I got on the right medication. Most of us here try to detach in certain degrees and do not house our adults. I cant change how you feel but I recommend therapy. We made our daughter leave for continuous meth and coke use and we had two littles who didnt need to see her act high. Nor did we. She refused the professional help we offered. So we told her she had to leave. She had somewhere to go but it was very strict and demands were placed on her. It really helped her. Within one year, my19 year old daughter who was an addict and not allowed to live here until she quit drugs DID quit drugs, even cigarettes. She had a job, took out a loan and went to college, worked, and now has a long term SO, her own house, and my lovely granddaughter. We are very close but she never lived with us again after we made her leave. She didnt need or want to. She grew strong too. All my kids are strong. I have an autistic son who chose to live on his own, works and has improved ninety percent. He has a few adult services but is mostly on his own. And he likes his independence. He is 25. But he wanted to look for a place at 20 so we helped him and he moved out on his own. We are also very close. Great young man. My hero! I wont change your mind and wont try but I hope you do explore therapy to help you maybe cope better both for your sake and for your son too. Your son is 29. What id so damaged about him that he cant live alone, like my autistic son? Anger issues he can work on as he works and gets good therapy. He is able bodied I assume. Good luck and hugs, love and light. Do try therapy for you!! [/QUOTE]
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