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Substance Abuse
Abandonment issues
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 743792" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>This whole thread is fascinating to me as I got my foster son when he was 13 and he had been through significant trauma. While he has had many issues, he is the one who is never disrespectful or mean to me. Even when he is angry he does not express in a nasty way towards me. When I point out things about him that are not positive he usually tries to be objective and many times agrees with me. He never lies to me, even when it reflects poorly on him. My biological daughter is a completely different story. She is ungrateful, rude, at times downright mean to me. She lies, tries to manipulate and is basically an unpleasant person about 80% of the time. I get frustrated with her sometimes and have to give myself a break. I would never abandon her, but sometimes I need time away from her whirlwind of chaos. </p><p></p><p>I wonder if my son secretly fears I will abandon him because he's not "really" my son. To me he is 100% mine and I express that to him all the time, but he was older when he came to me and he had been through a lot. Now I'm wondering if that's why he's always on his best behavior with me- because he fears abandonment.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 743792, member: 11235"] This whole thread is fascinating to me as I got my foster son when he was 13 and he had been through significant trauma. While he has had many issues, he is the one who is never disrespectful or mean to me. Even when he is angry he does not express in a nasty way towards me. When I point out things about him that are not positive he usually tries to be objective and many times agrees with me. He never lies to me, even when it reflects poorly on him. My biological daughter is a completely different story. She is ungrateful, rude, at times downright mean to me. She lies, tries to manipulate and is basically an unpleasant person about 80% of the time. I get frustrated with her sometimes and have to give myself a break. I would never abandon her, but sometimes I need time away from her whirlwind of chaos. I wonder if my son secretly fears I will abandon him because he's not "really" my son. To me he is 100% mine and I express that to him all the time, but he was older when he came to me and he had been through a lot. Now I'm wondering if that's why he's always on his best behavior with me- because he fears abandonment. [/QUOTE]
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