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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 621704" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>That is a beautiful legacy that kid left behind. I like that a lot. Thich Nhat Hahn talks about giving the love that is wanted...he uses the example of giving flowers every day to some one you love who doesn't like flowers...it is not what they need, not what will make them feel loved and seen. You have to find the thing that will make them feel loved. And that is found in time, in being with, in acknowledging who there are, in their weakness, in their pain, in their loss.</p><p></p><p>One of the worst things people could say to me as difficult child was growing up (always off kilter) was...I am sure it will be fine. I'm sure he has a gift or a talent that will out, and he'll be great. Or variations on that theme.</p><p></p><p>CAuse here is the thing...it was never going to be fine, and definitely not great. And so those empty words robbed me of my loss, of my dignity (with the best possible intention). They robbed me of my experience.</p><p></p><p>As with your dying boy, Recovering...he had to be allowed to be dying. People who were afraid of that, or pretended otherwise, were not welcome in his final, sweet, limited hours. I get that.</p><p></p><p>It won't be all right, my friends, REcovering, Cedar, Child, Seeking, all of you....it will just be. And we are here for each other for that. </p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 621704, member: 17269"] That is a beautiful legacy that kid left behind. I like that a lot. Thich Nhat Hahn talks about giving the love that is wanted...he uses the example of giving flowers every day to some one you love who doesn't like flowers...it is not what they need, not what will make them feel loved and seen. You have to find the thing that will make them feel loved. And that is found in time, in being with, in acknowledging who there are, in their weakness, in their pain, in their loss. One of the worst things people could say to me as difficult child was growing up (always off kilter) was...I am sure it will be fine. I'm sure he has a gift or a talent that will out, and he'll be great. Or variations on that theme. CAuse here is the thing...it was never going to be fine, and definitely not great. And so those empty words robbed me of my loss, of my dignity (with the best possible intention). They robbed me of my experience. As with your dying boy, Recovering...he had to be allowed to be dying. People who were afraid of that, or pretended otherwise, were not welcome in his final, sweet, limited hours. I get that. It won't be all right, my friends, REcovering, Cedar, Child, Seeking, all of you....it will just be. And we are here for each other for that. Echo [/QUOTE]
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