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ADHD... How do you deal?
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 441098" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>"I am not understanding why he doesnt get it or doesnt care."</p><p></p><p>Hi Beachgirl and welcome to the site. I just pulled that quote out of your post because I believe it is an important attitude piece for parents. You, as an adult, don't understand - do you honestly believe that he does? Children with these challenging issues, especially younger children like your stepson, are just as much in the dark, or even more so, than we are. Trust me, he wants to be good. He would rather not struggle. He obviously can't give what is expected and that is when you have to stop and realize it's not fair to have expectations he cannot meet right now. It's a set up for failure and frustration.</p><p></p><p>Remember that a pediatrician treats the body of a child. Your stepson needs someone who specializes in the mind, so to speak. Get a referral from his pediatrician for a good neuropsychologist or child psychiatrist. You don't specifically address his behaviors in your post, but you will need to be ultra-specific with the new doctor. Start keeping a journal of his meltdowns and struggles. It's too bad the school year is over and you can't get something from the teacher - that would have been a help - input from someone other than family. It's clear that you understand genetics play a huge role with our challenging kids. But know that a good team around your stepson can make a huge difference.</p><p></p><p>You are doing the right thing by intervening while he is so young. Early intervention is very critical. A number of years ago, a member who has her doctorate, did a study through her university and found that one of the biggest positive impacts on "difficult children" was early intervention by families and schools! So you are on the path. It's not always going to be a smooth path and it's not always going to be a quick run. Finding a good doctor, doing therapy and evaluations, finding a medication(s) that makes a difference, changing expectations, working with the school, etc., takes time and energy but can make a HUGE difference in your family life and the chance of future success for your stepson.</p><p></p><p>So find a doctor, take the time to read through our board and our archives (some great posts that have been saved over the years), and keep posting. This is a remarkable place to be - most of us came here when we were "lost". It has been a life-saver for most of us.</p><p></p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 441098, member: 805"] "I am not understanding why he doesnt get it or doesnt care." Hi Beachgirl and welcome to the site. I just pulled that quote out of your post because I believe it is an important attitude piece for parents. You, as an adult, don't understand - do you honestly believe that he does? Children with these challenging issues, especially younger children like your stepson, are just as much in the dark, or even more so, than we are. Trust me, he wants to be good. He would rather not struggle. He obviously can't give what is expected and that is when you have to stop and realize it's not fair to have expectations he cannot meet right now. It's a set up for failure and frustration. Remember that a pediatrician treats the body of a child. Your stepson needs someone who specializes in the mind, so to speak. Get a referral from his pediatrician for a good neuropsychologist or child psychiatrist. You don't specifically address his behaviors in your post, but you will need to be ultra-specific with the new doctor. Start keeping a journal of his meltdowns and struggles. It's too bad the school year is over and you can't get something from the teacher - that would have been a help - input from someone other than family. It's clear that you understand genetics play a huge role with our challenging kids. But know that a good team around your stepson can make a huge difference. You are doing the right thing by intervening while he is so young. Early intervention is very critical. A number of years ago, a member who has her doctorate, did a study through her university and found that one of the biggest positive impacts on "difficult children" was early intervention by families and schools! So you are on the path. It's not always going to be a smooth path and it's not always going to be a quick run. Finding a good doctor, doing therapy and evaluations, finding a medication(s) that makes a difference, changing expectations, working with the school, etc., takes time and energy but can make a HUGE difference in your family life and the chance of future success for your stepson. So find a doctor, take the time to read through our board and our archives (some great posts that have been saved over the years), and keep posting. This is a remarkable place to be - most of us came here when we were "lost". It has been a life-saver for most of us. Sharon [/QUOTE]
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