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Parent Emeritus
Adult children who stop talking to you
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 564067" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Welcome, Anon. Your post really does have some wisdom for single Moms. Unfortunately there really isn't a manual for "how to be the perfect Mom"...especially when Moms find themselves emotionally alone and unprepared. Very often the Mom "knows" that she needs to feed and clothe the children but doesn't really "get" (often because she is young) that she has to monitor her negative emotions and fears from her closest companions...the little kids. </p><p></p><p>Discipline is tricky, too. If you, for example, were raised "with the belt" you believe that "the belt" is what parents use to make sure the children don't run the household. If you were raised with "screaming and yelling"...same thing. As a legal adult (particularly one who has been betrayed/abandoned) the Mom is often humiliated, disappointed and very fearful because honestly they don't know what to do...and not do.</p><p></p><p>on the other hand once you are thirty years old you have likely experienced times when you did not make perfect choices in your personal relationships..or perhaps in friendships ..or in the work environment. in my humble opinion when you reach middle age it is time to see humanity for what it is. Life isn't perfect. Parents are not perfect. Most importantly the road to maturity includes looking in the mirror and seeing "yikes, I am not perfect!" I don't suggest giving up your life for a parent but I do strongly suggest that if you can be polite to coworkers, neighbors, the needy etc....well...then I believe you can practice the Serenity Prayer. You can accept the things you can not change. The past is past. You can find the courage to do what "you" can do. It may be a greeting card. It may be an initial short phone call. Any positive step will make your heart feel better and help make the future happier for everyone. Thanks and good luck. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 564067, member: 35"] Welcome, Anon. Your post really does have some wisdom for single Moms. Unfortunately there really isn't a manual for "how to be the perfect Mom"...especially when Moms find themselves emotionally alone and unprepared. Very often the Mom "knows" that she needs to feed and clothe the children but doesn't really "get" (often because she is young) that she has to monitor her negative emotions and fears from her closest companions...the little kids. Discipline is tricky, too. If you, for example, were raised "with the belt" you believe that "the belt" is what parents use to make sure the children don't run the household. If you were raised with "screaming and yelling"...same thing. As a legal adult (particularly one who has been betrayed/abandoned) the Mom is often humiliated, disappointed and very fearful because honestly they don't know what to do...and not do. on the other hand once you are thirty years old you have likely experienced times when you did not make perfect choices in your personal relationships..or perhaps in friendships ..or in the work environment. in my humble opinion when you reach middle age it is time to see humanity for what it is. Life isn't perfect. Parents are not perfect. Most importantly the road to maturity includes looking in the mirror and seeing "yikes, I am not perfect!" I don't suggest giving up your life for a parent but I do strongly suggest that if you can be polite to coworkers, neighbors, the needy etc....well...then I believe you can practice the Serenity Prayer. You can accept the things you can not change. The past is past. You can find the courage to do what "you" can do. It may be a greeting card. It may be an initial short phone call. Any positive step will make your heart feel better and help make the future happier for everyone. Thanks and good luck. DDD [/QUOTE]
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