We made a terrible mistake which I would like to share because we are filled with remorse now.
We put Kay's needs and drama above those of our very well behaved daughter and son. They balked about it, but we told them we had to help her. We apologized as it happened. But it hurt them both deeply.
We are making amends now per the twelve step program. My daughter, who I will call Amy, recently got a divorce and is waiting for a house to be built so we invited her home with us until then. The grands are here 50 percent of the time too. It has been great to have daughter/mom talks and make things up to her and to have the grands. They are a lovey, huggy bunch, Amy included. She is very helpful to us and although we asked for nothing from her, she insists on paying rent and some of the utilities and she likes to help cook and clean.
Our son works at our business so we have had time with him to pull him aside and talk. Things are good now with the other kids, but both felt very set aside due to our constant attempts to fix Kay. They were so good so they got a lot less time. Very twisted. Very wrong. I advise not doing this.
I cant truly tell you or anyone what to do, just what happened here. You can't guide your 23 year old to the right path. She will do her own thing. Remember that.
If there is a way to get your 23 year old out of the house, do it. She is using all the family oxygen, like Kay did.
Lastly, I suggest not driving the 23 year old around. We actually bought Kay cars and she wrecked them all so buying a car was even worse. Is there public transportation?
Be well.
